Broken Wing
by PEANUT v1.2
Summary: Makoto was excited for the future. Finally, he had a dream he could follow: being a swimming teacher. But a night of unforeseen and remarkably cruel acts of malice send him spiraling down a path he swore he would never take again. He needs to learn to free himself from his fear, but how can he when it takes everything he ever valued away from him?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Hello readers! I am excited to publish my first Free! story ever. This takes place at the very end of Free! Eternal Summer, but before Makoto and Haru go off to college. There will be some obvious divergences from the anime's epilogue/concluding scenes. I won't say anymore and spoil my own story!**

**Also, this is not a romance story. If you ship Haru/Makoto, you'll be happy with how much they interact, but my goal isn't to make them a couple or anything like that. They're my Brotp. That being said, if you read this with a shipping lens, you may see romance while others see deep friendship. **

**Aaaaand that's it. I'll update the next chapter in about one week. Enjoy!**

Chapter One: Beneath the Surface

All Haru wanted was to swim. Really, that wasn't much to ask. The only reason that he was out in the warm sun running across a sandy beach was for that reason. Well, he supposed there was another reason as well: He was participating in a triathlon.

This normally wasn't Haru's idea of fun, but he was participating to support a friend. Rin organized a huge triathlon as a fundraiser for future students at Samezuka. He said it was the least he could do, since the school gave him so much. Hours after the start of that triathlon, Haru was finally close to the final leg of it: the swimming portion.

While running, Haru kept his eyes to the ocean. _There it is. There it is. _This running portion was taking too long. It was fortunate that the ocean was just coming into sight for him now; if they had run all those miles by the ocean, he wouldn't have been able to restrain himself. Even now, his legs threatened to redirect him to the ocean. But if he jumped in now, then he was disqualified from the triathlon. He didn't care much about the race itself, but for Rin's sake, he would restrain himself. And besides that, Makoto was running the race next to him; abandoning him would have invoked anger from Rin as well.

The ocean was to his left. Makoto was at his right. Their day hadn't gone without its ups and downs; they had been together from the start with riding bikes (one of them having a flat tire), running the wrong direction due to confusing signs, and now, the greatest tragedy of all—not being able to jump into that ocean right away.

Haru sped up, his feet firmly pounding the sand into submission. Makoto began to disappear from his side. "Makoto," he panted. _Keep up; as soon as I hit the water, there's no stopping me. _There was also an unspoken rule in the triathlon that when you started the swimming portion, you were supposed to have someone with you. Swimming alone in the ocean, even while it was daytime, was dangerous.

Makoto took the hint and picked up his pace. It was obvious how excited Haru was to jump into the ocean. He waited all day for this opportunity; Haru didn't want anything slowing him down, including his partner.

Fifty feet to the checkpoint.

They had to get in the water as soon as they hit the checkpoint. They had to swim fast and hard to make it to their next checkpoint on the island before the sun completely set. Then they would stay overnight on the island and take off to the next at the start of dawn. It was a longer section than usual for the swimming portion of the triathlon, but considering how it was mostly swimmers who were doing this, it made sense to put the most stock into that section.

Twenty feet to the checkpoint.

Makoto was lagging again. "Makoto!" Haru scolded. He didn't exert so much energy in this race just to be disqualified in the ocean segment. If the coastguard caught them in the water after unset, they were out of the triathlon immediately. They would be brought back to the shore and they'd have to face Rin with shame.

Speaking of Rin, there he was at the starting point.

The red-head stepped up. He was dressed in a tracksuit with his swimsuit undeniably underneath it. He was watching out over everyone in the ocean and making sure nobody drowned. "There you two are," Rin scoffed. "If it was anyone else, I wouldn't even let them in the water at this point. Think you can make it to the island?"

"We will," Haru said. He grasped the back of his shirt and pulled it over the top of his head with vigor. Makoto did the same, without the vigor.

"I see," Rin frowned. "Makoto, will you?"

"Hm?" he hummed blankly. "Of course."

Haru should have seen something wrong. Rin obviously picked up on something that he wasn't if he asked Makoto that kind of question. But Haru's gaze was locked on the ocean. He slid to a stop in the sand and began to pull at his shoes. Rin said some more words to Makoto. Makoto said some words back. Haru was already sprinting into the water when he heard the protests of Rin and Makoto.

"Oi, Haru!" Rin hollered in a scolding tone.

"Haru," Makoto called in a more dismayed way.

Haru dove under the surface of the waves while the latter ran into the water after him. The saltiness of the ocean somehow pleased him more than the chlorine pools at schools. The motion of the water-the water pounding back against him in the form of waves, fit perfectly with his philosophy. _The water is alive. _And he was alive and able to surround himself with that life.

He broke the surface and took in his first breath. The island that was their destination was two miles out. By his estimation, it would take about an hour to reach it with the waves getting as strong as they were. The ocean became even more alive at night. His respect for the ocean would never die. It was a healthy kind of respect; he knew what the ocean was capable of. Why, when he and Makoto were kids—

Haru surfaced once again and stayed there. _Makoto. _He glanced over his shoulder and saw him swimming free; it wasn't like backstroke worked well in the ocean. He was swimming hard and fast, just like Haru mentally ordered him to do before they hit the ocean. But he could finally see why Rin had been so concerned on shore. Makoto wasn't enjoying this at all. _I thought he overcame his fear of the ocean, _Haru thought then. "Oy, Makoto-" he called to his friend as he suddenly stopped pushing forward.

The brunet didn't bother giving a response; he simply swam on ahead towards their destination with all of his might.

…_Okay, _Haru decided. He followed along, purposefully lagging behind Makoto as he pondered the whole day with the power of hindsight. Makoto was the kind of person who put his own feelings on hold for the sake of others; he often covered up his emotions with the head tilt and smile that so many girls fell for. It was people like Haru, Nagisa, Rei, Rin, and even Gou who saw through that upbeat appearance. But today, Haru didn't see through it. He didn't know he was supposed to be paying attention for anything; he was so sure that Makoto was over his fear of the sea…

Haru almost hoped that the sun would set more quickly—that the coast guard would sweep in immediately and order them out of the water. Screw the humiliation from not swimming to the island fast enough; he was already humiliated because he failed to pick up on all the subtle signs that Makoto dropped all day. He had purposefully slowed down during the running section, especially when they were close to the ocean. He arrived at the very last moment that afternoon for the triathlon. He hadn't spoken more than necessary. _I should have seen it. _

The sun didn't set any slower than usual. If anything, it took longer. The entire swim took longer than it should have. Yet eventually, they were at the island. The water became shallow enough for them to walk when they came to their scenic destination. Haru walked forward, knowing that running would only result in more water being kicked up and not affect his speed much.

Makoto also walked to the shore without turning back. As soon as he was out of the water completely, he fell forward and landed on his hands and knees.

"Makoto!" Haru called in worry. He closed the remaining distance between them and knelt down next to Makoto. Naturally, he was panting from the intense swimming that they had just done. It was a miracle they made it to the island just as the sun fell over the crest of the horizon. But kneeling down next to Makoto, he could see the look in his friend's eyes that he was trying to mask: terror.

"Sorry," Makoto apologized between breaths. He faked a smile as he stared down at the sand. "I guess I haven't been training enough for endurance, huh?"

Haru angrily rose to his feet. _No. Don't you dare try to hide your fear. You don't have to do that. _He selfishly felt the urge to harass Makoto—to make him break down and reveal whatever was bothering him. The logical side of him realized that their day wasn't over yet; they still had to find their shelter for the night. _Rin told us how it would work. He said there would be a station with maps right around here, and our spot would be marked on the map. And there would be food and warm clothes there… _He looked over to the left, away from Makoto as he searched for the maps. The stand was there, but it was empty. _That doesn't make sense. There were definitely supposed to be enough maps for everyone. _

He had no choice but to ignore Makoto's current state and focus on the greater need. "All the maps are gone."

Makoto picked up his head, also scanning the area. "Huh?"

Haru shut his eyes as he tried to remember. Rin had shown them a map earlier which part of the island they'd be on. The only reason he brought it out was because they asked if Rei and Nagisa were on the same island as them. Unfortunately they weren't. Or maybe it wasn't so unfortunate; Makoto was less likely to be vulnerable with everyone surrounding him. "…It's towards the northern part of the island," Haru recalled. "Let's go, Makoto."

It was normal for Makoto to offer his hand to Haru when the latter got out of the pool, but the reverse never happened before. As Haru stretched out his hand for Makoto, he realized how weird of a gesture it was. Makoto did too. He looked from Haru's hand to his face in surprise, saw the confusion, and cracked a smile. "This is weird," Makoto said as he accepted Haru's hand. He rose to his feet as the sand stuck to his wet shins.

Haru released Makoto's hand more quickly than Makoto ever released his. It really was weird to be on the opposite side of things. Some thoughts threatened to creep into his head, but again, he knew that finding their shelter was most important.

"Let's go."

*…*…*…*…*…*

A boy held a set of binoculars to his eyes. "They made it after all."

"I'm not surprised. They _are_ faster than us."

"But you don't have to admit it!" A cooling breath. "Still, did you see how he collapsed on shore? He's unnerved. I thought he was over his fear of the ocean."

"Apparently not. That's good for us though."

"Obviously." He lowered the binoculars. "Let's go. We'll have to move fast to beat them to their campsite and do our damage."

*…*…*…*…*…*

By the time they reached the campsite, Makoto began to calm down. He wasn't overly worked up when they landed on the shore; he still had enough restraint to not go into panic mode. Haru was both pleased and angered by Makoto's restraint; he shouldn't have felt the need to hide anything, but at the same time, Haru didn't like to see him panicked.

"That's it, huh?" Makoto asked as they surveyed the scene together.

Up ahead was an abandoned beach-house. The terrain sat lower here and was probably more prone to flooding than other parts of the island, hence the scaffolding that lifted the home an extra story off the ground. There, sitting under the shadow of the scaffolding, were two backpacks filled with towels, dry clothes, and food. It would absolutely be enough to get them through the night.

Firewood was the only thing missing, but there were plenty of woods surrounding the abandoned house that they could use to give themselves light and heat.

_But… _Haru looked over at Makoto. If the ocean hadn't unnerved him enough, the house finished the job. Makoto was a scardey-cat; haunted houses were terrifying for him. Going into the dark woods was an even worse decision though; the only light that they had was that from the moon, and that wasn't even bright. "Stay here," Haru said. "I'll be right back with firewood."

Makoto blinked in surprise. "I'm fine," he said. "I'll help with the firewood."

"Somebody needs to sort out the supplies," he responded calmly. "I'll be right back." Before Makoto could protest anymore, Haru went into the woods. It was a mistake on his part.

Makoto watched him for a few moments, but then did as he was told and went towards the house. Haru wasn't fooling him; Makoto knew that his friend was trying to protect him, but in his mind, he shouldn't have needed protection in the first place though. If only he wasn't so worried about the ocean. If only he didn't care so much about shadows and creepiness at night. If only there wasn't that creaking of the old house that would keep him awake all night…

Makoto shivered from the coldness of his thoughts. This was no time to be so negative. He had a simple task to do: unpacking their backpacks and setting up the camp. There was no way that Rin expected them to stay inside such a creepy building, right? There had to be a tent or something in the backpacks…He walked over to them and began to unpack, starting to quietly hum a happy song to distract himself. Haru was already worried; there was no need to worry him anymore.

It took a few minutes, but he gathered the clothes, blankets, pillows and matches in a line. There was no tent, but there were plenty of blankets to keep them warm. And there were no rain clouds in the sky. It would actually be a pleasant night to look up at the stars.

Makoto shut his eyes briefly, hearing only the silence. There were no crickets in the forest, no night owls hooting, no foxes awake. It was complete, and utter silence until the home's wind chimes suddenly began ringing like crazy.

He briefly yelped as his eyes burst open. _There's no wind. _There was absolutely no wind that could have made the chimes go. _The house is haunted. Oh… _He quickly rose to his feet and looked at the forest. Haru wasn't back yet. He definitely should have been back by now. _And the forest is haunted to. Haru's… _Makoto glanced briefly at the house behind him. Which was worse: Being alone outside the haunted house, or being in the haunted forest with Haru?

It wasn't hard to decide. Makoto ran into the forest without hesitation.

Meanwhile in the forest, Haru gathered the last of the twigs. Why couldn't Rin and his school have just left wood by their campsite instead of scattering it through the woods? Rin even said that all the members of his swim club worked hard at chopping enough woods for all the competitors. Why not just finish the job and put it by the campsite?

A faint noise travelled in the still air. "_Haru." _

Haru stopped walking, afraid that any twig he stepped on would stop him from hearing the call. It wasn't just his imagination, was it? He heard something just now…

Just a fraction louder. "Haru."

"Makoto," Haru called back. That was definitely Makoto who was calling out to him.

"Haru?"

If he had any hands free, he would have lifted his hands to his face. "What are you doing in here, Makoto?" he said louder than usual.

"I…"

He sighed. "Forget it. Just go back out. I'm coming."

"I don't think that I…know the way."

It sounded like he was going to burst into tears. Had that even happened before? Haru could only tell because he knew what Makoto sounded like when he was normal. This wasn't normal at all. He was panicking. "Alright. I'm coming to you. Start talking so I can follow your voice."

"Heh? What should I talk about."

_Tell me why you're still freaked out about the ocean, _Haru silently prompted. No, that wasn't a good idea. Makoto was freaked out enough without that being brought to the surface. "Tokyo," he prompted. "What classes did you sign up for so far?"

Makoto began to ramble about his classes. Some math, some English, history, and just one on coaching. How strange it was that schools made you take so many classes there held no relevance to your job. It was meant to make you a well-rounded person, probably. Haru said it was to steal their money, but Makoto was too kind to agree with him. By the time they got into the cost of textbooks, Haru found him.

Haru stared at Makoto for a few moments with only pieces of moonlight shining through the trees to enable that task. "Let's go," he finally said.

"Thanks," Makoto said as he followed.

It didn't take long for them to come out of the forest, but when they did, Makoto was spooked again. "Huh?"

"What?"

"The stuff that I set out…It's…" There wasn't nearly as much stuff as before. He had set out two sets of clothes—one for himself and another for Haru. Same for blankets and pillows. Only the items that would have been his were taken. He fought the urge to panic. _Ghosts don't steal clothes and bedspreads. But maybe an animal would to make a nest or something? _

It was Haru who noticed what Makoto didn't: the front door that had previously been shut and locked was now on broken hinges as if it were kicked in. It was clear to him now: somebody was pulling a prank. They thought it was funny, but they didn't know how wound up Makoto already was from facing the ocean. Haru furrowed his eyebrows and walked towards the house. "Stay here," he said calmly to Makoto.

Makoto briefly trailed after Haru. "What? Why-?" He didn't bother finishing the question; he noticed then how the door was busted open. He gasped, unsure of what was going on. Somebody was here with them? Who? And why would they take half of their supplies?

"Makoto," Haru repeated. "Watch the door. Make sure nobody comes out."

At first, he was relieved he didn't have to go into the dark house. Then he was horrified. "But Haru, you can't-" _**I **__can't let you go in alone. If there is someone in there, then…what? _Maybe it was some native of the island who desperately needed shelter and warmth and food. He swallowed, feeling misplaced compassion for the thief. "Forget it, let's just-"

"Watch the door," Haru repeated. He knelt down by their stuff and grabbed a flashlight. "I'll be back out with your stuff."

"Oy, Haru…"

Haru completely ignored him and stormed into the house. Makoto was stunned. Haru was acting really strange. Even Makoto couldn't fully comprehend his actions. It was because of his kindness; he was too quick to trust people and believe in their goodness. Haru knew otherwise. He knew that people took advantage of Makoto and his kindness. Even he did it every once in a while. He took too much and didn't give at all. Today, that was going to change.

While Makoto took his place at the top of the steps directly in front of the open door, Haru wandered through the dark house with only a flashlight as his guide. He had his suspicions about the entire day. First it was a flat tire on Makoto's bike. Then it was fake signs on the running route to lead them astray. Then the map being stolen, and now it was stuff being taken. All of it lined up somehow. _I made an enemy somewhere, _Haru thought, ducking past a tattered curtain that blocked a doorway. _Sorry to drag you into this, Makoto. _Haru secluded himself from reality as much as possible; he tuned out nearly everything except for the water and his friends. It probably irritated somebody who was now pulling these mean pranks. They stole the clothes thinking that they were Haru's. The bike was almost his. Everything fit too perfectly.

Haru completed a round downstairs and wound up in the hall. A rickety set of stairs directed him upstairs. Makoto had the door guarded out front. There were no other entrances or exits; the windows had been boarded shut to protect the home from storms. The thief was absolutely upstairs. Haru stepped quickly up the stairs with flashlight in hand. The scene that greeted him was that of a typical abandoned house: an empty hallway with nothing but cobwebs and insects. Dust coated the wooden floor in all but a select few places.

Footprints guided the way to a bedroom to the left. He pointed the flashlight that way and started over without fear. It never occurred to him that whoever this person was would be strong enough to overpower him with a surprise attack.

When he wandered into the bedroom, he noticed a stack of clothes, pillows, and blankets in the back right corner. He subconsciously started towards the pile and then was stopped by an arm that closed itself around his neck. He stumbled backwards with the person's strong chokehold, his hands immediately wandering up to take hold of that arm and remove it. Whoever picked this fight was stupid; he could hold his breath for a very, very long time. Until the moment he lost consciousness, he would fight back.

The arm around his neck was too tight. It was absolutely too muscular to belong to the average high school student. This person was an athlete—maybe a wrestler. _I may be out of my league. _He purposefully shoved the person back against the wall to force them into loosening their grip. It didn't work. He leaned forward and then shoved him back again and again, using his own body weight as his weapon. Finally, it worked. The arm loosened enough for Haru to grab hold of it and swing the person around to be in front of him. All he needed was to land one solid punch and the thief would be knocked out.

Right before he was about to throw a punch, Haru was horrified to see another figure step out of the room's closet and make a break for the doorway. _There's two of them?! _He lost his grip on his attacker's arm and was suddenly tackled. _He's running! _The second person was running down the stairs, towards Makoto.

Makoto was already directly in the doorway of the house because he heard banging in the upstairs of the house. At first, he thought the figure running down the stairs was Haru. "Haru-" He started to say in relief. Just as the person collided with him, Makoto realized that this wasn't Haru. This was the thief. And he was in trouble.

The figure crashed into him and had enough momentum to knock him completely backwards. Makoto grunted roughly when he fell down the stairs and hit his head on one of the wooden stairs. It cracked beneath his weight as he and the thief flipped over one another and completely switched positions at the bottom of the stairs. Even when Makoto was on top and propped up with his arms above opponent, he was in a complete daze. _What…? _He didn't have time to ponder it; a fist came flying at his face and knocked him over to the side. Pain radiated from his right cheek as he landed on his side in the sand. Darkness briefly surrounded him. It was only relieved when he heard a voice.

"Makoto. Oy! _Makoto!" _He grunted and opened his eyes. He was still lying on his side, as he had been since the punch. He couldn't have blacked out for more than a few seconds, yet Haru was kneeling down right in front of him. "Pull it together."

Makoto slowly began to sit up, feeling either drool or blood on his chin as he looked up at his best friend. "Haru…ka?" he gurgled. "What happened?"

Haru danced blurrily in Makoto's sight. "There were two of them," he said.

"Two? Of who?" Makoto wiped his fist at his chin and pulled it away. It had been blood.

"Whoever stole your stuff. I got into a fight with one of them. The other one bolted and…" Haru paused. "You don't remember?"

"I think I remember…Somebody came bolting down the stairs and ran into me. I hit my head on the way down the stairs and then he punched me." At the remembrance of the stairs, Makoto lifted his hand to the back of his head. Either his hair was still wet from the swim, or he had actually hit his head hard enough to make it bleed. He winced briefly in pain and shut his eyes.

"Makoto."

"I'm okay," he winced, putting on a small smile as he held his head. "I was just surprised, that's all. But…"

"But?" Haru prompted.

"…I don't know. I couldn't see his face, but he somehow seemed familiar."

*…*…*…*…*…*

The two large boys scrambled to the beach-house that they were told to camp at. They breathlessly collapsed under the scaffolding. "That was _not _part of the plan!"

"Shut up," the other panted. "Did you have a better idea?"

"We shouldn't have fought them! This isn't even about fighting. It's about making him suffer…"

"I don't care about that anymore. I'm glad you got a chance to punch him."

"Well I'm not. Let's forget this whole thing and just finish the relay tomorrow."

"You do that if you want. I'm finishing this."


	2. Chapter 2: Innocent

Chapter Two: Innocent

Makoto and Haru silently sat outside the house. Even if it was unlocked now, neither of them had the urge to make camp inside such a dusty, bug-infested place. Neither of them felt like doing much of anything after that fight. Two strangers ambushed them and beat them up. Makoto asked Haru what happened in the house and he told him: He was ambushed by one and the other used that as a chance to run and attack Makoto. Haru got away from his opponent as quickly as possible to help Makoto, but by the time he came out, the attacker was gone, and in that time, Haru's also fled the scene.

Despite the warm summer air, Makoto and Haru were both chilled by the ferocity of the attack. Haru still didn't tell that he thought all of the day's inconveniences were caused by bullies; Makoto wouldn't take it well. He knew that Makoto wouldn't take this conversation well either. But they had to talk about it—the most upsetting part of the day.

"Why are you still afraid of the ocean?" Haru asked quietly as they sat in the shadow of the house.

Makoto released a brief breath as his eyes widened. He refused to look at Haru and instead focused his gaze on the sand. "I wasn't sure until then that I was afraid," he half-whispered. "I hoped I would be okay…"

Haru recalled what Makoto said on a night so similar to this one: The swim club came to this same location for training. Rei swam at night in a storm and Makoto had to face his fear of the ocean head-on. He revealed that as long as he was swimming with everyone, he wasn't afraid. Everyone wasn't here today. "…Was it because it's not everyone with you?" Haru inquired cautiously.

The brunet hummed his disagreement. "It's not that," he said. "The ocean at night…It's still too scary. That night with Rei…I completely shut down. If you hadn't come along-"

"Don't talk like that."

"I have to," Makoto disagreed in slight panic. The tone startled Haru; it was as if Makoto would explode or break down if he didn't speak. "That night, I completely shut down. Rei could have died. I never told you what I felt at that time. I could feel myself slipping away and getting lost in the memories. I was aware that I would drown, but I couldn't do anything as the memories swallowed me." Tears danced in Makoto's eyes. "I felt myself shut down and couldn't do anything. I'm scared of the ocean, but I'm more terrified that it'll make me shut down like that again. It's so terrifying, to be aware of what's happening and not be able to stop it…"

As Makoto raised a trembling hand to his face, Haru instinctively looked away. "That's enough, Makoto," he said softly.

It was enough. Makoto didn't protest being told to be quiet like he had before. Instead, he kept his hand to his face for an agonizing sixty seconds before he more calmly said, "Sorry, Haru, for making you worry."

"It's not your fault."

Silence fell once more. A faint breeze blew and rattled the wind-chimes left on the abandoned home. Naturally, Makoto jumped out of his skin. There was no way he would calm down tonight after all that happened. Haru suggested that they go to sleep, and Makoto agreed. While Haru lit a fire, Makoto began to lay out their bed sheets and pillows. They were now wearing the clothes that had been in their backpacks—Iwatobi Swim Club sweatshirts and sweatpants. Neither of them would be cold tonight with the summer air and non-threatening clouds.

They roasted their hot dogs over the fire, ate them, drank water and then snuffed out the fire so only smolders were left. They lay down on their mats and stared up at the sky.

Neither slept for hours.

*…*…*…*…*…*

"Oy, Makoto," a voice broke through. The brunet opened his eyes, seeing the bright-eyed Haru above him. His normal drowsiness vanished at the sight of his friend's concerned eyes.

"Haru? What's wrong?" he asked, slowly sitting up as Haru backed off. It was rare to see Haru so unsettled. Granted, he still wasn't like the average person with darting eyes and sporadic movements. The concern just shone in his eyes. His eyes always conveyed more than enough for Makoto to understand him.

"I don't want to panic you, but look up at the sky."

Makoto did as Haru said. "Oh," he said quietly. It was quite obviously time for sunrise, but the sky was shrouded by ominous, deep gray clouds. The wind also made the trees nearby shift and bend to the force. Goosebumps coated his skin even underneath his sweatshirt and sweatpants—not just because of the wind, but because of fear. It was time to swim in the race again, but obviously the ocean wasn't safe now.

He was trapped in an unfamiliar place, feeling fragile, and was surrounded by the raging sea. Whatever nightmares had made him toss and turn last night were insignificant to this fear.

"Calm down," Haru said before Makoto even had a chance to panic. "I'm sure that the coast guard will take all the racers back to shore."

_That's supposed to calm me down?! _Haru's words actually had the opposite affect; Makoto refused to look him in the eye and instead focused on his backpack next to where he sat. "Boats…don't protect people from storms," he said in a choked voice.

Of course Haru didn't have anything to say to that. He should have known better than to bring that point up to Makoto. Silence fell for a few minutes as the wind picked up and thunder rumbled in the distance. "It'll be okay," he said after a moment.

_How? _

"Haruka-senpai! Makoto-senpai!"

Makoto couldn't mistake that voice. They heard it all the time, screaming at them whenever they were doing a relay. He looked over his shoulder and with large eyes, he observed their teammate Rei running towards them. And he wasn't alone.

"Haru-chan! Mako-chan!"

Nagisa, naturally, was lagging behind the former track-runner, Rei. There was one more person running between the two—behind Rei but in front of Nagisa.

"Rin?" Makoto breathed. "Nagisa? Rei?" He stood up at the same time as Haru and briefly cast his friend a confused look. What was everyone doing here? Judging by his expression, he had no idea either.

As soon as the three stopped in front of them, it was Rin who spoke up. "The rest of the triathlon's over," he said with some disappointment. "This storm coming in looks pretty bad. We already went to the other two islands and picked everyone up. You two pack up and go to the boat, before things get bad."

All while Rin was talking, Makoto's skin turned white. A boat in a storm. _You're joking, right? _he wanted to say. _You can't seriously expect me to get on a boat right now… _The old fisherman died on his boat on a stormy day just like this one. The distance to land was different, but he didn't care. Makoto was so wrapped up in his panic that at first, he failed to realize that everyone was staring at him. Even Nagisa and Rei knew about the incident with the old fisherman; surely they knew that Makoto would refuse to get onto that boat. _That's why they're here. All of them are here to force me to go… _He shook his head, allowing his brunet bangs to hide his terror-filled eyes. "You all go," he said quietly. "I'll wait out the storm here."

"Mako-chan…"

"Sorry, Makoto, but you don't have a choice," Rin said factually. "This storm will get worse the longer we stay here. Let's just go now. Everything will be fine…"

Rin reached out a hand towards Makoto's shoulder, as if he were going to physically drag him towards the shore. He refused the contact and backed away. "No."

"You need to be reasonable," Rin continued, again trying for Makoto's shoulder. "Staying here is dangerous. The winds may knock down the trees and even these old houses. There's no shelter here."

Rin's fingertips skimmed Makoto's shoulder as he backed away one last time. "I said _no_!" Makoto cried, practically jumping backwards to get as far away from Rin as possible. The tone of his voice and the terror behind it stopped Rin from pushing him any further. As the scared Makoto looked over the group, he saw that everyone was shocked by how resistant he was. They thought that he would be passive eventually and they could coax him onto the ship. Well, they were wrong.

He couldn't stand to let them stare at him when he was so panicked, so he turned and fled while the rest of the group remained in shock.

*…*…*…*…*…*

"Did you see that ship along shore?"

"Yeah. I wonder if the rest of the triathlon is over. This storm looks pretty bad."

"It's just like that day, isn't it?"

"We're not children anymore, Jirou. We're stronger than that."

"Right," he said. "Sure." A pause. "If that ship is here to take us away, will we go on it?"

"Of course we will," the other said stubbornly. "It'd be stupid not to. Pack up your stuff and let's go. We're obviously going to check it out."

As the two packed, the elder suddenly became aware of the leaves in the trees rustling even more. The wind, as strong as it was becoming, was creating a different kind of noise. The wind was constant and the noise of the leaves coincided with that consistence. Now they were rustling manically, controlled by something else.

Just as his brother tried to speak to him, he lifted a hand and shushed him.

"Aki-neesan?"

"Someone's coming."

Makoto surfaced out of the woods and came face to face with the two other racers. Of course he wasn't expecting to run into anyone and they certainly weren't expecting to see _him_, so for a few moments, they all stared at each other in shock. _Does he recognize us? _Akihiro wondered. Makoto was staring at them in surprise, but he didn't look offended. He would use that surprise to their advantage and give him less time to think. "You're another one of the racers, right?"

"Y-yeah." Makoto stood up straighter. "I guess you are too."

"Did you see the boat at the shore?"

He nodded. "They're here to collect everyone. The rest of the race is cancelled."

Jirou quietly whined in the background, as if disappointed. _Good, Jirou, you're learning. _"I see…Are you running around to make sure everyone goes to the boat?"

"Uh…I…guess…."

Akihiro stepped forward and asked the most important question. "Are there others with you—telling people about the boat?"

As Makoto looked down at the ground, Akihiro grew angry. _It's not a hard question! _he wanted to hiss. Just as he was about to ask again, the brunet lifted his head and looked at the boy whose eyes were hungry for revenge. "They're probably telling other people about the boat," he said quietly. "But I came alone."

The teen's shoulders relaxed. "I see."

He stepped forward and promptly punched Makoto in the jaw, watching him crumble to the sand with a burning in his fist and a bitter satisfaction in his heart.

*…*…*…*…*…*

Haru readjusted the strap on his hefty backpack for the tenth time as he and Rin speedily walked the island. They were all such idiots. Yeah, Makoto's resistance caught them all off guard, but they should have been smart enough to follow after him right away. Now they were in two search groups—Haru and Rin, and Nagisa and Rei, looking for Makoto and informing other groups about the boat along the way. As Rin finished informing another pair about the boat, Haru speedily turned on his feet and started walking again. It took Rin a good twenty steps to catch up to him. Makoto's backpack was definitely slowing him down; he was generally fast on land and in sea.

"Calm down, Haru," Rin scolded by his side. "We'll find him."

"You shouldn't have told him about the boat," Haru said in a quiet, tense voice. "You should have told him there was shelter that way and then told him about the boat at the last minute."

Rin gave him an exasperated, defensive look. "It wouldn't have made any difference. None of us could have known just how much he'd resist."

_I should have known, _Haru thought silently. His clear blue eyes scanned the dark woods that creaked and groaned with the storm's wind. Just like he should have seen that Makoto was scared about the ocean, he should have known he'd react this way to sailing on a stormy night.

"Anyway, tell me more of what you were saying earlier," Rin encouraged. "About how you think you're being targeted."

Haru hated bringing up the point right now when Makoto was missing, but he let it slip earlier in their search that he wondered if Makoto would run into the goons who ambushed them. Now it was time to give Rin the whole story.

"Everything that went wrong with the race today did," he said with furrowed eyebrows. "The air in Makoto's bike tire was flat. The arrows on the course were pointed in different directions to lead us astray. Our map was missing when we came to the island. And then two people tried to steal our stuff from the campsite. I got into a fight and Makoto was almost knocked out while the other boy ran away."

"And you think you did something to tick somebody off?" He didn't bother waiting for an answer. "It wouldn't be the first time you were so focused on something that you missed people's feelings…"

An unnatural rustling came from the woods beside them. Both stopped and looked as a squirrel ran out, saw the two of them, and then fled back into the trees. They sighed and kept going.

"Still, what did Makoto think about it all? Did he think somebody was targeting you?"

Haru avoided his glance. "I didn't talk to him about it."

"Jeez, Haru," Rin scoffed. "You saw him being dragged into it. Why weren't you honest with him about it?"

"He was already panicked because…" There was no need to finish. Rin had already seen Makoto before he got into the ocean. Surely he could imagine just how worked up Makoto was when they got to the island.

The redhead let the topic drop, if only for a few seconds. "Tell him after this is all over. He deserves to know that he's an innocent bystander."


	3. Chapter 3: Panic

**Author's note: Missed a week, sorry! Here, have a chapter of heartbreak and angst! *Throws it online***

Chapter Three: Panic

Makoto couldn't remember the last time he felt so cold. Every fiber of his being was as cold as ice. It was like he decided to go in the ocean in the middle of winter with only his underwear on. None of this was truly what was happening of course, though in some ways, that would have been better for him. He doubted he would have had such a pounding headache

As he lifted his hand towards his head to stop the awful throbbing, he had a terrible realization: he couldn't move his arms.

His bright green eyes popped open in shock. Though the headache tried to force them shut again, he kept them open long enough to look down and realize his current predicament. His entire body from the shoulders down was buried in damp sand. _Wha-what? _he thought in a surprised daze. _Where am I? How did this happen? _Before he could wonder for long, he recalled exactly what happened. That stranger suddenly stepped up and knocked him out cold. But why? He didn't even know who that person was. It was hard to tell in the dark morning and the person's long, dark black hair. His clothes weren't special either—It was a black or navy blue tracksuit with white stripes on the arms and legs. No, maybe it was a sweatshirt. The person behind him was wearing similar clothes and had his hood up—

He was just about to make a connection to the two people that ambushed him and Haru when a cold burst of saltwater flooded his open mouth. In shock, he sucked in the water and began to choke. It receded quickly and gave him enough time to vomit it back out. He surveyed the scene to clear up the last of his confusion and surmised the situation in 4 simple statements.

1. He was in a completely secluded part of the island, far away from his campsite with Haru.

2. He was buried up to his neck and unable to escape the enclosure.

3. The storm was bringing the water right into his face.

4. He was going to die.

Makoto coughed and sputtered as the water came back towards him. This time, it only nudged his chin before going back into the ocean. He choked back a sob and turned his neck as much as he could. His fingers began to curl beneath the layers of the sand as he tried to free himself. Whatever pockets he made were quickly filled with sand again. Nobody was around. The sand kept filling up around him. Even so, he cried out between his nervous sobs.

"Haru! Rin! Nagisa! Rei!" He shouted over and over again. Again and again he shouted their names between the panicked breaths, the ocean filling his mouth and the booming thunder above. His voice grew hoarse as he whimpered one last cry. "_Somebody!_"

Nobody was coming. That fifth realization was the one that made him completely lose it. Even if he was buried in sand and trembling from the cold that surrounded him, his crying made it even worse. None of this was even remotely fathomable. What did he even do to deserve this? He shut his eyes and began to sob, all hope lost. He was so deep in his crying that he didn't even notice that he _wasn't _alone, not anymore.

"Mako-chan?!" the worried-panicked-confused voice of Nagisa cried from above him. "Rei-chan! Come here!" The blond knelt down next to Makoto as the water receded, the boy starting to shovel the sand away from his face with his bare hands. "Rei-chan!" The blue-haired swimmer refused to come as quickly as Nagisa wanted. He kept trying to desperately move the sand away from Makoto's face and use it to build a barrier that would block the incoming ocean, all the while speaking the most comforting words he could in his panic. "Hold on, Makoto. Hold on. It'll be okay. It'll be okay…"

As the water poured in once more and completely demolished all of Nagisa's progress, the swimmer also began to lose hope. "_Rei-chan!_" he screamed.

Rei had been far enough away—looking for other camps to warn about the storm. But he had started to come back as he heard Nagisa screeching his name. He popped out of the woods and saw the situation quickly enough. "What-?"

Nagisa looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. "_Help me! Mako-chan's…" _Makoto wasn't sensible anymore—not that he was at all when Nagisa first came. He was sobbing his eyes out without even heeding the incoming water of the ocean and not trying to escape the sand anymore.

Rei didn't need to hear any of that to see just what the situation was like. He went to the other side and began to furiously dig at the sand. Half the time, both of them would murmur Makoto's name and their reassurances. The other half, they were screaming for help from anyone. Sometimes, it was for Haru, who surely could calm Makoto down and stop the hysterics. And sometimes it was for Rin, who surely would be able to calmly think of a situation that could get them out of this. They even cried for Gou and Miss Amakata and Coach Sasabe, who weren't even on this island. In general, they just screamed for help.

On the other side of the trees, Haru and Rin were walking. They assumed that Nagisa and Rei searched this side of the island for other campers and for Makoto, but they couldn't be sure without cell phones or any way to communicate. There was no organized plan when they separated to do their two tasks. Now, they were wishing they had a better plan. How were they supposed to know if everyone was notified about their departure? How were they supposed to know if Makoto was found and calmed down?

Yeah, they agreed to meet at the boat, but until then, they were completely in the dark. The storm just kept getting worse. The wind was howling, the trees cracking, thunder rumbling. If Makoto was completely alone, he must have been in complete panic.

Haru, in the meantime, was a mixture of worry, frustration, and anger. He tried to look for the two thugs that attacked him and Makoto and surely ruined their day, but none of the racers they warned were big enough. Nagisa and Rei must have run into them. Now there was no way for Haru to confront them for all the hassle that they caused.

"Did you hear that?" Rin said suddenly.

Haru stopped and listened. At first, all he heard was the storm. "No. Let's keep looking."

As he started forward, Rin grabbed his wrist. "Stop," he said sternly. "Listen."

_How am I supposed to hear anything above the wind and the leaves? _Haru thought in frustration. He just wanted to go and find Makoto and be done with this. But Rin gave him such a serious stare that he shut his eyes and focused. Beyond the howling wind—beyond the rustling leaves and the twigs snapping against one another, he did hear a faint noise.

"_Makoto-senpai…_"

Haru tore his hand out of Rin's and ran towards the noise, not that he would have been held by his friend. Rin heard it too and sprinted in between the trees with him. As soon as they broke through, Haru froze. He didn't know just how long Nagisa and Rei were there, but the sand was still up to Makoto's shoulders. His shoulders now broke through the sand, but they were tightened and stiff as Makoto cried. He wasn't trying to escape—he probably wasn't completely there with them. He was so panicked by the coming ocean that he didn't realize that help was here and that he was going to be okay.

"Oy, Haru!" Rin's voice broke through the ringing in his ears. "Help!"

He had been standing there in stunned silence for so long that he hadn't even run forward. He stumbled to behind Makoto and began digging. _I wasn't their target, _he finally realized. _It was Makoto. He was alone, and so they… _He gritted his teeth and frantically began to dig. Nagisa and Rei continued to work in the front and sides. Rin wandered around, completely useless to the cause until he retrieved a shovel that had been thrown in the bushes. He harshly ordered Nagisa and Rei aside as he ordered Haru to talk to Makoto and calm him down. _What am I supposed to say?! _Haru thought in frustration. It was always Makoto who comforted Haru; it didn't go the other way around. What words could comfort him?

Finally, he thought of something. "Makoto, I'm here," he said, moving to sit in front of his best friend. He ignored Makoto's red skin and tearstains as he dared to stare his friend right in the eye. If only Makoto would open his eyes and see that his friends surrounded him. Even so, he spoke. "I'm here. Rin has a shovel and is digging you out. The water's calming down." The last one was a lie, but he didn't care. "As soon as you can move your arm, give me your hand. Makoto—_give me your hand. _This time, I'll pull you out." Makoto was always standing at the edge of the pool, always with his hand extended to help Haru out. It was his turn to offer Makoto the same help.

As Rin dug, Haru kept repeating his instructions. He kept giving Makoto the same instructions—to lift his hand and take Haru's once he could. Rin heart him too and purposefully dug on Makoto's right side so he could reach out his hand.

Rin dug out enough for Makoto's underarms to be accessible. He should have been able to move by now; he should have been reaching out his hand. "Forget it, Haru," Rin said. He stepped back out of the way. "Nagisa, Rei, pull him out."

_No, wait, _Haru wanted to say. He looked down at Makoto as Nagisa and Rei stopped behind him. They knelt down and grasped him from underneath his armpits before they started to drag him out of the soaking-wet sand. The material of Makoto's tracksuit resisted the wet sand and came out better for wear, though the water obviously soaked through to his very core. As the two underclassmen pulled Makoto out with one last great effort, the brunet's right hand came free. It swung forward towards Haru and missed.

There was no time to think about that. Once Makoto was completely free of the sand, Haru began to inspect him for wounds and Nagisa and Rei caught their breath. As far as he could tell, Makoto was fine physically. He thought he saw a bruise on the side of his friend's face, but none of his clothes were tattered or stolen. Even his bright orange shoes managed to stay on his feet as he was dragged out of the sand. That was the only piece of luck they had tonight.

"It's alright, Makoto," Rin was saying as he knelt next to the trembling teen. "You're safe now. It's over." Even so, Makoto kept trembling. His entire, bulky body was shaking from head to toe. His breathing was far too ragged and his heart surely beating too fast. "Oy, Haru," he called. "You try."

Again, Haru just stared down at Makoto. He tried to help before and it hadn't worked. Why would this time be any different?

On the other side of Makoto, Nagisa sniffed back all the snot in his nose and the tears in his eyes. "Mako-chan," he whimpered. "You're okay now! I promise…" He suddenly leaned over and wrapped his arms around him, holding tightly so that he could stop the trembling. It wasn't the force of Nagisa's embrace that solved any of the problems: it was the warmth of his presence. The physical reassurance of a friend could break through whatever walls terror created.

Slowly, Makoto opened his eyes and looked down at his lap. The sobs and choking had begun to recede. Though everyone noticed it at the same time, it was Rei who said what everyone was thinking. "Everyone! Hug Makoto-Senpai!" From behind him, he wrapped his arms securely around the brunet and offered his words of assurance. "Makoto-Senpai, everything's going to be alright. You're going to be alright."

Rin hardly was a person to show physical affection, but he silently wrapped his arms around Makoto's other side. Nagisa sobbed as if he was the one who was buried in the sand and Rei too choked back his emotion. Haru watched it all with wonder. He was closer to Makoto than any of them, yet he couldn't find the strength to kneel down and embrace him. It wasn't until Rin physically grabbed his arm and yanked him down into the sand that he hesitantly joined in on the group embrace. He feared joining in and breaking Makoto with a hold that was too strong, but then he remembered that it was only Makoto's heart that was fragile right now. He leaned forward and joined in the hug, though it was hard to find room with how Makoto's legs were spread in front of him. Haru really sat closer to the side with Rin and hugged Makoto from far-away. Rin took one of his arms away from Makoto and wrapped it around Haru for some strange reason. Then it was Haru who wanted to cry.

A second—a minute—half an hour—some amount of time passed as they held onto Makoto and listened for him to calm down. His body stopped shaking entirely, and whatever tears he had been crying were gone. But he refused to open his eyes or say a word to anyone.

A light suddenly shone on the group. Despite the notion of being humiliated by a group hug in the middle of a storm, nobody let go at first. It was only Rin who stood up and pointed out the boat that was now along their shore. "I sent up a flare when we found him," he informed the rest of the stunned group. "I knew we couldn't drag him back to the other side of the island to get on the boat."

Nagisa stood and wiped at the tears in his eyes. "After all this, we're forcing him on the boat?"

Rin nodded solemnly.

"Understood," Rei joined in. He moved to where Rin was before, his hand guiding Makoto's limp arm around his shoulders. "Nagisa-kun."

"Yeah." He also bent back down and helped Makoto to his feet. As one of the coast guard's medics rushed to their aid, Rin began to explain the situation. The medic nodded and ordered them to assist Makoto onboard to the sick bay. He would be checked on there. Haru lagged behind as Rin and the medic walked aboard, the former explaining more in depth how Makoto would react to fully awakening on a boat. Nagisa and Rei helped the half-conscious Makoto to the ship's ramp. Haru grabbed both his and Makoto's backpacks before following the rest of the group onboard.

"Is that everyone, Rin?" asked the captain.

"Yeah. Did you get everyone else?"

"Yup, they're all here."

"Good. How far is it till we reach the shore?"

"It's tricky, kid. We have to actually dock somewhere because of this storm, so we gotta travel some extra kilometers."

"So how many?" he asked again. The response sent a chill down his spine.

"3 kilometers." The same distance that his father's boat was away from the shore all those years ago. The same distance that sentenced Makoto's elderly friend to death.

*…*…*…*…*…*

Rei stepped out of Makoto-senpai's room and heaved a sigh. Neither he nor Nagisa managed to get any sleep while they were on the island. At first, it was Nagisa talking his ear off and keeping him awake like they were at a girls' slumber party. And then the coast-guard and Rin came. They evacuated everyone on that island and took them back to the mainland before returning to the second. The only reason that Nagisa and Rei stuck around was because Rin told them how he was concerned for Makoto and his fear of the ocean. But Rei sensed it was more than that. That was why he now approached the main room with the steering wheel and uptight crew. They had been on the boat for ten minutes now. On a normal day, he calculated that the time of the trip should have been 3 minutes. However, this wasn't any ordinary day.

He was prepared to knock on the door and see if Rin was inside with them, but a voice down the hall told him otherwise.

"They don't like being interrupted."

Rei turned his head, briefly relaxing at the person who stood outside a cabin door. "Rin-san."

"What're you doing, Rei?" he asked as he approached. "You all should be with Makoto."

"Haruka-senpai is with him now—It's okay. Besides…I wanted to see if you were okay."

"_Huh_?" Rin huffed, somewhat defensively. "Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well…" He stepped towards the redhead just in time to avoid the main control room door burst open and a frustrated coast-guard sailor burst out. He hardly let it hinder him as he stopped right in front of Rin. "I heard from Gou-san a long time ago that you two lost your father the same night that Makoto lost his friend. I thought maybe you'd be…well, scared."

Rei glanced away, furrowing his eyebrows automatically. "Right now, I don't have time to be scared. Makoto was nearly killed and his attackers are onboard. I wish the storm wasn't going on—then we could stay out here and solve this mystery."

"Any ideas on who would have attacked him?"

Rin shook his head. "Makoto might know now, but he's in no condition to tell us." Finally, Rin met his eyes again. "How is he doing in there?"

"The medic…gave him a strong sedative. But his adrenaline is keeping him from being knocked out completely." Rei bit down on the interior of his cheek and frowned. "He's not crying anymore, but I think that's just because he's dehydrated. The medic said that he would give Makoto full treatment once we were on shore. He doesn't want to give him anything that may help him regain consciousness."

"I see." Rin frowned. "Rei, sorry to run, but I have to make sure all the other competitors are okay. This race was my decision, after all."

"It wasn't your fault, Rin-chan," Nagisa said as he magically appeared behind Rei. "You couldn't have known that it was going to storm tonight."

"You're right," he agreed easily. "But my decision still caused people a lot of pain. And besides…Maybe I can the people who attacked Makoto."

"You have a plan?" Rei asked.

"Maybe, but not really at the same time. I'll let you know." He lifted a hand, casually waving to Nagisa and Rei as he started down the hall.

"Rin-san! Are you sure you're okay?" There was no way he was unaffected by this. Though it was awful to say that Makoto was more easily scared, it was true. But if Makoto was scared, Rin must have felt _something _too.

"I'm fine," Rin said, offering Rei and Nagisa a faint smile over his shoulder. "Really. Right now, I have a job to distract me. As long as I'm busy, it'll be okay. _I'll _be okay."

*…*…*…*…*…*

Haru sat on a chair next to Makoto's bed. Every movement of the boat was amplified in his mind, as he was sure it was in Makoto's. Even though his best friend was sedated, he still refused to fall asleep. The medic said that Makoto would struggle against the sedative at first because of panic, but that he would succumb within five minutes.

It had been over ten, and if anything, Makoto was becoming more panicked.

Makoto, now clothed in black sweatpants and sweatshirt (courtesy of the coast-guard and their emergency stock of warm clothes) was lying flat on his back. His arm that had been shot with the sedative lay flat by his side while the other was raised and covering his eyes. He kept whimpering. "I want to go home. Let me go home."

Haru never saw Makoto like this before. Yes, he had seen Makoto scared, but not terrified. When they were boys and watching the funeral procession go by for the old fisherman, Makoto stood behind him and reached for his hand. Haru was surprised and had turned to look at Makoto, but he wasn't looking at him. He was staring at the men who walked by, gaunt in their white robes. Even more than that, he was staring at the ocean past them.

It took Makoto a long time to get over his fear of water as a whole. Haru heard from his mother that Makoto refused to take baths until he was nine years old. Apparently the spraying water of the shower in his face also made him feel like he was suffocating. He cried every time he was forced to clean himself up.

Then Makoto began to overcome his fear. He came to the ocean and watched Haru swim from a fair distance away. Haru wasn't supposed to know that he was there, but he knew. Eventually, they joined a swim club in middle school and swam together. Again, Haru wasn't supposed to see how scared Makoto was that first day, nor was he supposed to know that Makoto had been coming to the club on his own weeks before that and simply dipping his legs into the water. Haru was secretly glad for the work Makoto put in; he too appreciated the value of swimming with a friend.

Makoto's fear went away and a quiet confidence replaced it, until they had their swim camp at those three islands last year. That night was the first night the fear came back, but even then, it disappeared in the morning. Makoto said that it was alright as long as he was with everyone. Haru wished he would take that mentality now in his suffering. _We're all here, Makoto. Can't you see it? Can't you __**feel **__it? It's alright now that we're all here… _

For a brief moment, Haru thought that he suddenly gained telepathic abilities. Makoto bolted upright and uncovered his green eyes and stared directly at him. Haru was so relieved that at first, he didn't notice the look in his eyes: that wasn't Makoto in front of him, not really. That was a look of a trapped animal.

Makoto suddenly threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. "Let me out of here!" he cried loudly. He tilted to the side and pressed a hand against the wall as he quickly stumbled towards the door.

"Makoto!" Haru cried in protest. He rose from his seat to block the door, though he hardly had to rush. Makoto looked like he was a drunken sailor on a ship on a stormy night. Thankfully only the latter was true; a drunk Makoto was another thing to worry about.

Haru stood in front of the door with wide eyes and extended arms. He opened his mouth once more to protest, but then Makoto stopped right in front of him. "Haru!" he cried pleadingly. And then he suddenly lost his battle to the sedative and fell forward, directly into Haru's ready arms. Haru had a hard time catching –what with the swaying ship and the weight of his best friend. He lowered both of them to the ground and onto their knees. He looked at the brunet and tried to shake him, calling his name several times and growing softer with each utterance. "Makoto. Makoto. Makoto."

There was no response. After sixteen agonizing minutes, Makoto finally gave in to the sedative. It was at that moment that Haru finally gave into his own emotions and shed a tear for his terrified friend.


	4. Chapter 4: Aftermath

Chapter Four: Aftermath

_Three days later…_

Haru, Rei, Nagisa, and Rin all stood outside Makoto's home. The four of them had a plan to kidnap Makoto, since he gave them no other option. If he left his house at all in the past few days, he managed to do it in the few times that Haru wasn't watching. It was easy to see from his home who came and left Makoto's house. Everyone had a bad feeling in the pit of their stomach; Makoto probably locked himself inside his bedroom since the incident.

That day wasn't one that any of them wanted to remember. When they came to shore, they pulled Makoto out on a stretcher. He was given an IV to help hydrate him again and covered with heated blankets to restore his warmth. Dehydration and hypothermia, the medic had said. Those were the physical ailments that Makoto suffered from being buried in the soaked sand and the saltwater being forced down his throat. The psychological analysis—well, the medic said he'd leave that to the professionals. But his guess was a severe panic attack. It was possible that Makoto depersonalized himself during that time and that was why he couldn't respond to anyone. He explained that sometimes when people go into a deep panic, they have an out of body experience. They are fully aware of what's going on, but they are watching it as a spectator and have no control over the situation. The feeling of security and safety can draw them back—sometimes.

Haru wondered if that was what Makoto was referring to when they spoke earlier that night on the island. He said that when he was supposed to save Rei from drowning, he was aware of what was going on, but he couldn't physically do anything about it. It unfortunately fit perfectly with what Haru witnessed with Makoto's panic attack at the edge of the ocean. That day, it was security that brought him back. With Rei, it was losing consciousness and waking up on shore, safe. Haru wasn't sure which day was worse; he hated the thought of both of them.

Makoto responded to the knock on the door of his home and was obviously shocked to see all of them. Everyone on the other side of the door was equally stunned: Makoto's skin was pale and white as the curtains in his living room. His hair was flat on his head and his cheek was creased with the outline of a pillow.

"Huh?" he murmured. "What are you all doing here?"

It was Nagisa who was most unaffected by Makoto's appearance. He reached out from the group and grabbed Makoto's arm. "Kidnapping commencing! Onto stage two, Rei-chan!"

"Y-yeah!" He grabbed onto Makoto's other arm and also flew away with him in their dust.

"What—What's going on?!" Makoto cried as he basically took lift-off at the force of Rei and Nagisa's firm grasps and quick pace. As Makoto screamed in protest and surprise, Haru and Rin just gave each other looks.

"He's worse than we thought," Rin said with a deep frown.

"His mother said that he's sick," Haru said in his defense. "That's all."

Rin scoffed and walked away. "Why'd you sit at your window the past three days, then?"

Haru followed without responding. Rin caught him in a lie that he could never work his way out of. Makoto was possibly sick with a cold from the island, but he was sick with a lot more than that. For the first time in his life, Makoto was drawing away from people. Even when he was upset, he always kept up his social and bubbly persona. Now, that was too much of a pain. Something was seriously wrong, and he had no clue how to fix it. At least he had an idea of how to fix another problem.

In his yard twenty minutes later, Nagisa already began their solution.

"Nagisa," Makoto moaned. "Why do I have to learn self-defense?"

"C'mon, Mako-chan, it's fun to learn!" the blond said in his eager way. "Now, duck!"

"_Huh_?!" Suddenly, Nagisa's arm flew in to hit the side of Makoto's head. Even when he ducked, it was a solid hit. "Ouch…"

"This isn't going well," Rin muttered from the sidelines. The other two silently agreed with him as Nagisa again ordered Makoto to duck to avoid his arm. He literally had to drop down to his knees to avoid the arm.

"What on earth is he thinking?" Rei sighed.

"He's small," Haru said obviously. "He only knows how to right like a short person."

"What are you saying about me, Haru-chan?!" Nagisa called defensively from the yard. Makoto took the opportunity to step away, but Nagisa quickly jumped on his back. "Anyone can fight like this!" Makoto either fell or purposefully allowed himself to land on his stomach in the grass. The pitiful look that he gave the remaining three was enough to spur one of them into action.

"It can't be helped," Rei said as he rose and straightened his glasses. "Nagisa-kun, let me take over. I will show him the beauty of fighting."

"Is this supposed to be an improvement?" Rin muttered to Haru.

"It'll be alright, Makoto-Senpai!" Rei cried as he puffed out his chest. "I'll teach you the most beautiful ways to defend yourself. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"And why is he so enthusiastic?" Rin heckled quietly to Haru. "I've never seen him so…"

"Exuberant," Haru filled in with a blank nod. "You get used to it."

Naturally, Rei had Makoto start with the stretches. He even tried to tell him to extend his arm and have it at a specific angle and then his right leg would be at another angle, his left at another and his left arm opposing the right in length so that the chi would flow through his body. Poor Makoto humored him, but he could hardly stay standing with how far apart Rei had him spread his legs.

"That's not beautiful at all, Makoto-senpai," he scolded. "You must _desire _to be beautiful."

"My desire is to find out exactly why we're doing this," Makoto complained again.

"Perhaps if you're successful with your lessons, then we'll tell you."

"You can't even let me know now because I'm still standing?" Makoto sighed faintly.

"Fight on, Mako-chan!" Nagisa cheered excitedly from the sideline. While Rei looked over and gave him a gratuitous smile, Nagisa looked over at Rin and Haru. "I don't think Rei-chan will be able to teach Mako-chan how to fight."

"At least wait until I look away to say those comments!" Rei cried as remained staring at the three. While Nagisa weakly chuckled, Rei went back to his stretching session with Makoto. He began to physically grab Makoto's limbs and stretch him in ways that the human body shouldn't have been able to move.

"Rin-chan, you should try to teach him," Nagisa suggested after fifteen minutes of stretching. "You know how to fight, don't you?"

"As if," he scoffed. "I just put all my force behind my punches and land one hit. I'm not a fighter."

"But you have to try!" Nagisa encouraged. "And we need to save him from Rei-chan."

"I can still hear you!"

"Alright," Rin sighed. He rose to his feet and stopped next to Rei and Makoto, the latter of whom was nearly doing a split in his sweatpants thanks to Rei's stretching. "Rei, I'm taking over."

"But-"

"Come on, Rei-chan," Nagisa called from the sideline. "Rin-chan has some good ideas."

"Since when?" Rin muttered quietly to himself.

"I see." Rei straightened his glasses, giving a slight boy to Rin. "Rin-san, I leave him in your care!" He started off to the side, sitting on the ground along with the other two. While Nagisa gave him a smile of encouragement, Haru's focus was solely on Rin and Makoto.

"Alright, Makoto," Rin started. "Look me in the eye." He waited for cooperation. "Turn the left side of your mouth down in a frown."

As soon as everyone heard those directions, they groaned. Rin wasn't actually going to teach him how to fight; he was going to teach him how to look terrifying. Makto couldn't be terrifying even if he was painted in blood and gore; his harmless aura overcame any physical appearance. He couldn't even frown properly, which made Rin literally reach forward and tug his lip into the correct position.

"Now furrow your eyebrows. Don't take your eyes away from mine," Rin ordered.

Poor Makoto complied, though more than angry, he looked confused. It was hardly the terrifying expression that Rin was going for. Nobody said anything, but Haru rose to his feet anyway. His steps were silent as he approached Rin and set a hand on his shoulder. "It's hopeless."

Rin looked over at Haru, his eyebrows furrowed in the way that he described Makoto to do before. He wasn't pretending to be angry; he was seriously ticked off. He shook of the hand on his shoulder and turned around, completely ignoring Makoto in the meantime. "Oy, Haru, I thought you agreed to this idea!"

The gaze that Haru returned was equally icy. "I'm not anymore. Let it go, Rin."

"You agreed with me! I said that Makoto had to be able to defend himself in case those thugs every came back. So why are you fighting against it now?!"

Haru silently stared down Rin. That was one of the things that Rin always hated about Haru—he stayed silent at the times that he should have been fighting back. He acted so apathetic when he really should have been furious. He reached out and shoved Haru backwards, though he just calmly took a step back.

"Oy, Rin!" Makoto protested.

"Stay out of it, Makoto!" he snapped.

"Stay out of it? This is about me!"

"Don't snap at him," Haru said to Rin in an unreadable tone.

Rin met Haru's eyes without reservations. "I'll snap at him as much as I need to. You want to coddle him, but we don't have that luxury anymore. He was _attacked_, Haru! Accept it. Now we need to prepare for a second attack."

"Rin!" _Don't talk like that in front of Makoto. _Haru didn't dare look over and see the look in Makoto's eyes; he was sure that he was very unsettled by all this talk.

For some reason, the calling of his name ticked him off even more. He shoved Haru so much that he was forced to stumble back a step. He tripped over a fallen twig and landed flat on his back in the grass. The morning dew still clung to the grass until it transferred onto his clothing. He was so surprised that all he could do was stare up at the redhead who had pushed him down. Rin, so into the moment, actually knelt down over Haru as if he were prepared to keep him down and knock his lights out.

That was when a broad hand appeared on Rin's shoulder. It held on. Tightly. "Rin," Makoto said slowly. "That's enough."

"Don't tell me what's enough," Rin said as he tried to rip his shoulder out of Makoto's grasp. Although that wasn't a success, he was able to lift his other hand and draw it back so that he could punch Haru on the ground.

Makoto saw it happening and acted on instinct. He shoved Rin off of Haru and tackled him roughly, feeling the force of both of them hit the ground. It was Makoto who wound up on top, with his fist drawn back and ready to launch at Rin as soon as Rin presented any type of a threat. He took in a shaky breath as his fist began to tremble. Haru didn't know what was going on in Makoto's head, but as he sat up and looked over at the pair, he saw that Rin was half-surprised and half-pleased. Makoto though…he looked devastated.

Haru thought he understood at first what Rin was doing. He knew that Rin was trying to provoke Makoto into attacking. In the heart of the moment, it didn't seem like such a bad idea. Whether he liked it or not, Makoto _did _have to learn how to fight in case those thugs came back. But the cost of getting Makoto to act was too much.

As Makoto lowered his fist, he also bit down on his lower lip.

"Good, Makoto," Rin said as he recovered from the shock. "Now why can't you be that passionate about protecting yourself?"

If Makoto didn't understand what was going on before, he certainly did now. It was a set-up, and he felt betrayed. He stood up without a word and just looked down at Rin. "That…wasn't kind," he said. He stepped away without offering Rin a hand, like he often did with Haru. Maybe it was because he was angry, or maybe it was because it wasn't Haru. Either way, he turned his back to all of them and ran a hand through his brunet hair.

"Those thugs that attacked you weren't kind either," Rin argued as he rose to his feet. "You _need _to learn how to fight, Makoto. We don't want to see you get hurt."

Makoto lowered his hand, allowing it to limply fall down to his side. "I find that hard to believe," he said quietly, "with the stunt that you just pulled."

Of course Rin didn't have a good response to that. Even Nagisa—the king of jumping in and breaking the tension of awkward or tense situations, remained absolutely silent by the sidelines. All that any of them could do was watch as Makoto went back home.

*…*…*…*…*…*

**Author's note: I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Even though it is devastating for Makoto, I had a lot of fun writing the scene because it was a chance to show off all the characters and their quirks. Grey-sentry, Guest, and MarshmellowMelody, I appreciate your reviews! They all made me beam. :D Please continue to leave reviews/comments, and other followers, feel free to follow their example. It is **_**super **_**encouraging. **

**Until next week!**

**Peanut**


	5. Chapter 5: Distant

Chapter Five: Distant

That night, Makoto heard a loud banging on his door. He tiredly rolled over onto his side, glancing at the clock to see the time. It was already morning, but it was a dark day. Why didn't Ran or Ren get the door? They were home and they surely could hear the loud banging…

He let the knocking continue for another few minutes before he finally rolled out of bed. He put on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt on over his boxers, just in case it was any of his friends. They were lucky yesterday that he was fully clothed and presentable when they came and dragged him outside. He had this awful feeling in his stomach that it was them to try and kidnap him again, despite how awfully yesterday went.

He opened the front door and was surprised to see just one person standing there. "Rin?" If Makoto had an ounce of cruelty in his heart, he would have slammed the door in his face. Instead, he opened it and got a full glance of the redhead—and all that he had with him. He had a large backpack on his back and a suitcase by his side.

"Let's go, Makoto."

"What?"

"To Australia," Rin said casually. "Let's go."

Makoto blinked. "I don't want to go to Australia."

"You saw what it did for Haru, didn't you? Let's go."

Makoto curled his hand into a fist. "I'm not Haru, and I don't want to go on a life-changing field trip to Australia."

"That's no good, Mako-chan," a voice from behind him said. Makoto spun around and spotted Nagisa, who was suddenly in his home and wearing boxing gloves. "If you're not going to Australia, then you'll have to come to boxing camp with me!"

"Nagisa-kun, what are you doing?" Rei's voice said from the doorway. Once more, Makoto looked in that direction. Rin had completely vanished and Rei took his place. He was dressed in all black with a large set of butterfly wings attached to his back. "Makoto-senpai's coming with me to the art museum! The beauty there will inspire him."

Makoto lifted a hand to his head to keep the room from spinning. "You're going to the museum…dressed like that?"

"Of course! Butterflies are beauty. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

"Mako-chan," Nagisa said.

"Makoto-senpai."

"Oy, Makoto!" Rin suddenly appeared to his left.

"Mako-chan." "Makoto-senpai." "Makoto!"

Makoto lifted his hands and covered his ears, his eyes squeezing shut to keep the room from spinning around him. There were too many people here—too much noise and too much dizziness for him to focus. Everyone wanted something from him! Normally, he was obliged to give all that he had, but today, he couldn't. "Go away," he whispered over the resounding voices. "Please."

The voices peaked at their loudest and then disappeared without any warning. At first, Makoto was afraid to open his eyes. They were still there; he was sure of it. If he opened his eyes, they would start talking to him again and start trying to pull him in a million different directions.

"Makoto," a kinder voice said through the silence.

It was that voice that urged Makoto to open his eyes. The all that he had been standing in was empty in front of him. Rei, Nagisa, and Rin were gone and there were no signs that they had been there in the first place. In fact, there were no signs that anyone was with him now. He sighed and put a hand over his eyes.

"Makoto, over here."

When he turned around, Makoto did see that he wasn't alone. Haru was standing there in swim trunks and a navy-blue apron. In his hand was a pan with steaming mackerel.

"Why are you holding a pan of mackerel in my hallway?!" Makoto cried in complete confusion. _No wait, there are a lot more things that don't make sense here. He's in a swimsuit. With an apron. With mackerel. My head hurts… _

"Makoto," Haru said quietly. "You have to let us help you."

"Huh?" he blinked. Those were surprisingly deep words from somebody who looked like Haru did.

"We want to help you. We're sorry we weren't there to save you that night."

"But…you did save me," Makoto stated. "If you hadn't come, I would have…"

"You have to talk to us," Haru said. "You have to let us help you."

Makoto looked down at his hands to avoid Haru's piercing blue eyes. "But I'm alright," he said quietly. "Why are you all worried about me?"

"Makoto, there's something I need you to do for me."

It was a change of topic, but Makoto was glad for it. If it was for Haru or for aybody else, he would do whatever. "What is it?"

"Go on a life-changing field trip with Rin."

"_Eh?!_"

*…*…*…*…*…*

Makoto's siblings, Ren and Ran, were familiar enough with Haru that they felt comfortable letting him in despite the fact that Makoto was still asleep. It was nine in the morning on a summer day. Perhaps Nagisa was still sleeping in, but Makoto was the type of person to wake up at a decent time to start his day. Haru couldn't provide a specific reason why he came to Makoto's house; he just felt like he needed to. He knocked on the doorpost outside Makoto's bedroom, listening for a response. Nothing, naturally.

"Pardon the intrusion," he muttered, stepping into the bedroom. It was neat, as Makoto's room always was. Haru stepped over to the bed and leaned over, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder as he gently began to shake him. "Makoto."

Makoto stirred slightly in his sleep, turning his head away from the hand instinctively. Haru tried again, shaking his shoulder a little harder. "Makoto, wake up."

Finally, he got some kind of response, though it wasn't what he expected. Makoto mumbled softly in his sleep. "I don't want to go on a life-changing field trip with Rin…"

Haru tilted his head to the side, blinking in confusion. "Um, Makoto?"

The brunet furrowed his eyebrows, slowly coming to. His green eyes began to flicker open as he met the blue eyes of his friend. "Haru?" he muttered after a few seconds.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Morning."

Makoto slowly sat up as he held a hand to his head. "What a night," he sighed as he shook his head. "I had the most bizarre dreams."

Again, Haru nodded. "A life-changing field trip with Rin?"

His eyes grew wide as saucers as he stared at his friend. "I talked in my sleep?" he blushed.

Rather than nod _again_, Haru asked the obvious question. "Did Rin try to kidnap you and take you to Australia?"

"Something like that."

"He tends to do that."

Haru kept a completely straight face at the joke, just like he often did with whatever it was he did. It even took Makoto a few seconds to realize that a joke had just been made. A smile appeared on his sleep face after a little while as he also rubbed the sand away from his eyes. "What's up, Haru?" he asked as he sat up. He briefly glanced down at himself, seeing that he was clothed in an orange shirt and his typical pajama shorts. Of course he was; this wasn't a dream. Now that he thought back to it again, it was complete nonsense from the very start. Since when did he sleep in only boxers?

He didn't realize it at first, but he missed Haru's response while he was reflecting on the dream. "Sorry, Haru, what did you say?"

"Nothing," he frowned.

"Oh…okay."

"Let's go for a walk."

"Eh?"

"Yeah," Haru nodded as he backed away towards the door. "Get dressed. Let's walk."

"Um-Mm," Makoto hummed. _Alright… _As Haru left, he rolled out of bed and got dressed. At least Haru was giving him a chance to actually make himself presentable. Yesterday, everyone dragged him out and he was just in his sweat-suit… At the memory of yesterday, Makoto frowned. Haru wouldn't force him to see Rin or anyone else, would he? He already felt bad enough about yesterday; he didn't need to see their faces and feel pathetic for being so emotional.

Makoto dressed in jeans and a plain, light-blue top. It wasn't nearly as piercing as Haru's eyes; it was more like the calm sky that greeted him as soon as he stepped outside. It was a gorgeous day. It was easy to forget that the world kept going while he locked himself in his bedroom. _I need to pull it together, _he thought as he and Haru walked side by side. He was such an idiot for being so downcast in front of everyone. The next time he saw them, he'd have to apologize and then return to his normal self. It wasn't right to worry them. Maybe they had a right to worry about him; he never felt this way before.

Once more, he thought back to his dream. Dream-Haru said that Makoto had to let people help him, but that wasn't going to happen. His role was to help others; others weren't supposed to help him. He truly loved being everyone's encouragement. Of course he didn't like seeing them in pain, but it was so wonderful to help people see all the reasons to smile again. If only he could help himself smile. If only he could get out of this slump that he put himself in.

He hardly paid attention to where he and Haru were walking. A part of him wondered if Haru had an ulterior motive. Was he taking him to see everyone? To force him to talk about his problems? Or was he taking him to a real martial arts teacher so that he could defend himself? As the Iwatobi swim club building came into view, Makoto had a sinking feeling in his stomach. So that was where Haru was taking him. It was as if he knew what happened two nights ago. But how? Nobody was with him when he snuck into the swim club. He made sure that he wasn't followed.

Haru didn't lead him into the building; they simply walked by it. Makoto couldn't help but release a sigh as they walked past and continued walking.

The sigh was what prompted Haru to speak for the first time since the walk began. "What's wrong?"

Makoto jumped, guilty of keeping a secret and caught for that crime. "Nothing really," he said quietly. "I was just wondering…why are we going for a walk?" It wasn't a complete lie; he was curious about the walk. But it was so far from the truth that Makoto's good heart felt choked with the tiny lie.

Fortunately, Haru spoke without pointing out the lie. "Because I wanted your opinion," he said.

"My opinion? On what?"

"Swimsuits."

Makoto lifted a hand to his face. "Seriously?" he half chuckled-half groaned. "You already have how many bathing suits? And they all look the same."

"But they all fit differently. I need one that's more…" Haru lifted a hand, pressing a finger against his lower lip as he attempted to find an adjective. Obviously he wasn't going to find one; Haru may have been profound on some occasions, but he was inarticulate on just as many occasions.

"I got it," Makoto sighed. "But how am I supposed to help you figure out which fit you like?"

Haru obviously didn't have an answer for that question. It was unlike Makoto think the worst of people, but his suspicions from earlier never actually went away. He hated being suspicious, but Haru proved that he was right to ask questions with his next response. "I wanted to get you out of the house," he finally said in his completely blunt way. "And I wanted to invite you to stay at my house a few days."

Getting him out of the house made sense, but the second was completely unprecedented. "You want me to stay at your house?" Makoto repeated in confusion.

"Your family is probably worried about you, right?" Haru said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And you don't want them to worry, so you shouldn't let them see you right now. Stay at my house until you feel better."

Although Makoto was touched by Haru's thoughtfulness, he instinctively shook his head. "Thanks, Haru, but I'm alright. There's no need for-"

"What are you doing in the next few days?" he challenged. "Were you planning on staying locked in your room?"

"W-well…"

"Then lock yourself in my house instead," he offered. "Your family won't see you and have so much to worry about."

They came to a complete stop in front of a random ice-cream shop. Makoto wasn't sure what to say; Haru was being abnormally pushy. If Makoto rejected him again, he would show that something was wrong, since he was never that stubborn. Even so, he didn't want to worry Haru either, and if he saw him all the time, he would definitely worry. "Thanks, Haru," he started. "But…"

"Let me rephrase," Haru interrupted once more. "Nagisa and Rei went to your house and packed your toiletries and clothes for a week. They already finished moving it into my house."

Makoto's jaw dropped as he stared at Haru. So there _was _a hidden purpose to this walk. But it was just Nagisa and Rei who packed all of his stuff and not Rin? How was he after their encounter yesterday? Was he okay? There were so many questions, but he asked the one with the least amount of depth. "How do you know they're done?"

Haru's eyes softened. "I checked my phone ten minutes ago."

"You actually have your phone with you for once…?" He should have noticed it. He knew he was oblivious walking into town, but he didn't realize just _how _oblivious. He shook his head, glancing to the side as he bravely asked another question. "Are they staying over at your house too?"

"No," he answered. "Unless you want them to."

"No." Makoto paused only briefly. "What about Rin?"

"He's still in town, visiting Gou. Did you want to see him?"

"Not yet," he said quietly. "But soon, I want to see everyone. I need to apologize for yesterday."

"There's nothing to apologize for."

"Yes there is. I…lost myself for a moment." Though it felt like a lie to say that, it was still the best thing Makoto could think of. It was so out of character for him to attempt to hurt anyone physically or emotionally. He had a feeling that he did both to Rin yesterday. But then, he wasn't completely unlike himself. Rin threatened Haru; of course he was going to step up and protect him. Rin attempted to aggravate him and it worked. Makoto wasn't angry so much as he was sad. He wasn't supposed to be angry. Anger was such a negative emotion….

Haru appeared before him with ice-cream. It took Makoto a few seconds to realize that he had actually gone so deep into thought that he didn't notice Haru step away, get into line, and buy food. He quietly thanked him for the ice-pop and began to eat.

It wasn't until they were done their ice cream and on the way home that Haru began speaking to him again. "You don't have to apologize for yesterday," he repeated. "Nobody should have asked you to do that. You don't have to learn how to hurt people."

Though Makoto desperately wanted to agree, he couldn't. "I was helpless against them," he said softly. "First at the house, the one tackled me and knocked me down the stairs. And then before I was…" The recollection of being buried in the sand by the ocean froze him to the core. HE couldn't even find the strength to move forward. Suffocation nearly paralyzed his lungs as well until he heard a voice bring him back to reality.

"Makoto."

"Sorry," he quickly blinked. "I…" His mind automatically wandered back to where it was, but he rewound that incident to where it started. "I found two other swimmers and told them about the boat. They asked me if I was alone and I said yes. That was when one of them punched me." He looked down at the ground as he lifted a hand to his chin. There was no bruise anymore, but everything from that night was shockingly vivid. There were two ways of handling trauma: one way was to completely forget it and block it from their mind. The other was to relive it, over and over again and keep the memories alive. Unfortunately, Makoto's mind favored the second way.

Since Haru could tell that this was a painful topic for Makoto, he took hold of the conversation. "Don't worry about self-defense," he repeated. "It's only two more weeks until Tokyo. You won't ever see them again, and if you do see them soon, I'll be with you."

_But last time, you couldn't handle yourself with them either…_ "Thanks, Haru," Makoto said instead with a small smile. It was better not to argue with him.

The two of them walked around for another hour. Makoto didn't ask any more questions. If Haru knew that he didn't want to see Nagisa or Rei today, then they surely weren't at his house anymore. By the time they returned to Haru's home, Makoto's suspicions were correct. They would be completely alone. His fears remained. The walk today wasn't an accurate portrayal of what the next few days would look like. Haru was gentle today; he hadn't specifically asked any questions about why Makoto was upset. He seemed to think it was because he was beat up. That was fine with him; Haru could keep thinking like that. But Makoto feared that soon, Haru would realize that something else was borrowing him, and when he saw what was really haunting him, it would be devastating.

*…*…*…*…*…*

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Glad you guys are enjoying the story so far. I love hearing from you, so please, continue leaving comments. Those of you who have remained silent, feel free to jump on board. :) **

**Grey-sentry—Aye, I agree, it's extremely hard to find fics where Haru and Makoto are just friends. I searched long and hard for some, but when I couldn't find any I liked, I decided I had to make one myself. **

**PS- Not sure if anyone here watches Avatar the Last Airbender, but the whole "Life changing field trip" thing was a reference to that amazing show. **

**Until next week, **

**Peanut**


	6. Chapter 6: Discovered

**Author's Note: I missed another week, sorry! I gotta find a better day to update on, because Tuesdays come and go way too quickly. **

Chapter Six: Discovered

That night, Makoto laid awake on his bedroll. Haru had also laid on the floor instead of in a proper bed to keep him company. While he was touched by the sentiment, Makoto wished Haru would have slept on his bed and that his mat wasn't directly in front of the door.

It had been two hours since they laid down to sleep. Haru should have been asleep by now, right? "Haru?" Makoto checked quietly, whispering.

Haru's even breathing was his only response. Makoto breathed a sigh of both relief and anxiety. He silently pushed his sheet onto the floor beside the bed and reached over for his backpack. He had put a few items in it earlier when Haru was taking a shower. While he felt terrible for going behind his friend's back, he had no other choice.

He swung it over his shoulder and started walking on the balls of his feet. Even with his bigger size and heavy muscles, he could move silently when he wanted to. He lifted one foot and stepped over Haru. No reaction. He completely stepped over and stood on the other side. Still nothing.

Makoto walked to the front door of the home and slipped on his sandals. Even if he was in his sleeping shorts and a T-shirt, he looked normal enough that he wouldn't be stopped out on the streets. And besides that, he wasn't planning on being seen by anyone.

One last time, he glanced back towards the bedroom. "Sorry, Haru," he said quietly. "It'll be okay. I'll be back before you wake up."

He knew for sure that one of those promises would be true. He could only hope that the other would also be valid. He stepped outside and began to walk to the Iwatobi Swim Club Returns Building. This was where he thought that Haru was taking him earlier that day. If they had turned in there, Makoto had no clue what he would have done. Maybe he would have refused to go in. He would have felt too guilty to see Coach Goro after what happened two days ago.

Whatever he felt now was stronger than the guilt, because here he was again, doing the exact same thing. He approached the building, opened one of the windows in the back, and climbed inside. His backpack nearly got caught on the window, but he quickly untangled it, closed the window, and headed into the dressing room on his right. His backpack had everything he needed: his swimsuit, goggles, and a towel. He even had a lantern in his bag to brighten the dressing room. The pool, thankfully, had built in lights that automatically glowed in the dark.

After he was finished putting on his swimsuit, he stepped into the main room. There was the pool—same as always. Yes, it looked more intimidating at night with the darkness and all the shadows, but if he looked closely, he was able to reason away all of the terrifying shadows. That shadow to his left was caused by the rack of body boards. Straight ahead, past the pool, was a rack with towels that were left during the day. And then to the right, bleachers were still extended and ready for a crowd. If he closed his eyes (which he didn't dare do out of fear that one of the shadow-causers would come to life and scare him), he would have been able to imagine those bleachers full of spectators. He heard them a million times as he swam individual and relay races. Everyone from Iwatobi would cheer so loudly that other shouting seemed quiet in comparison. And then every once in a while, he would hear his own teammates cheering him on. But they were often so distracted by their own nerves that they didn't cheer. He only heard them in his heart.

Even Haru cheered him on his heart. It may have just been his imagination, but it was real enough to spur him forward. Even now, he imagined Haru, Rei, and Nagisa at the other side of the pool, waiting for him to jump in the water so they could cheer him on. But that wouldn't be happening any time soon.

His fear of the water was worse than ever before. He could hardly coax himself to shower because the water splashing against his face reminded him of the ocean that night. He couldn't get in the tub out of fear that his face would fall below the water and he wouldn't have the sense to lift his head and breathe because of panic. It was absolutely ridiculous. Even more, the fact that he was scared of the shower but still here in front of a huge swimming pool was just plain stupid. But he had to face this fear and start swimming again. If he didn't, he couldn't move forward with Haru by his side. He couldn't be left behind.

These thoughts of bravery and encouragement spurred him forward to the edge of the pool. That was better than he had done two nights ago; two nights ago when he had snuck in to overcome his fear, he looked at the pool, ran into the bathroom, and threw up. Tonight would be a better night. It had to be.

_If I think too much, I'll scare myself out of it, _Makoto thought as he slapped both his cheeks to encourage alertness. _I just need to jump in. I can't think about it. I can't be paralyzed by fear again. _

His knees locked and kept him in place. "No way," he murmured desperately. "Come on, move!"

But he couldn't move forward. Fear paralyzed him once more.

*…*…*…*…*…*

"Jeez, coach," Rin mumbled a quiet scold as he opened the front door of the Iwatobi Swim Club Returns building. "You should really remember to lock this place up…" The community may have been full of good people, but there were still some bad apples who would take advantage of unlocked doors like this to cause some mischief. Goro was lucky that it was only Rin who was here, and he wasn't here to do anything bad. His vacation time with his family was ending in a few days, and this was his last chance to come visit the old swim club. It was time to once more relive some old memories. At least this time, it would be pleasant to remember all the good times with his old relay team.

Well, it would mostly be pleasant. Things with Makoto the other day hadn't gone nearly as well as he hoped. He was wrong to egg Makoto on when he was so obviously upset about everything. But Rin wasn't the type of person who took the gentle approach: he wanted to snap people into their senses immediately. He reacted in frustration when he should have been more caring. Haru texted him earlier and said that Makoto would want to see him sometime, but not within the next day. That was fine—He would take whatever he could get.

He walked through the empty halls with his flashlight, inspecting the pictures. New generations of swimmers had taken their place. There were still pictures of the four of them from the old days, and some new ones with Rei included. Maybe he should have brought them with him tonight. It would have been fun to swim together one last night. But again, Makoto came to mind. They couldn't have had a fun last night with their relationships so strained.

He opened the door to the pool and stepped inside. The first thing that he thought was that he was wrong before: somebody in this neighborhood did take advantage of the front door being left unlocked. But then he realized that this wasn't some punk kid—the person who was in the pool but holding onto the wall tightly and blankly was his friend. "Makoto?" he checked in surprise. He walked all the way around the pool to the other side, shining his flashlight on the figure. Obviously he could recognize Makoto from the back; he often saw him that way in swim competitions.

Upon reaching his friend, he knelt down in front of him. "Oy, Makoto…" he tried again, confused. First of all, what was he doing here? Breaking and entering was unlike him. And why was he gripping the edge of the pool as if his life depended on it? His third question was one he answered on his own: the reason Makoto wouldn't look at him was because he was upset about what happened the other day.

_No, that's wrong, _Rin shook his head as he suddenly grasped the situation. Makoto wasn't just ignoring him; he wasn't even aware that Rin was here. It was just like the night at the beach; Makoto wasn't here. And he was in that state while he was in a pool! Rin grunted and reached down into the water, grasping Makoto tightly underneath his armpits as quickly as he could. How long had he been like this? What if Rin hadn't gotten here?! Would Makoto have died?

He tried to pull Makoto out of the water, but even then, he stared directly ahead of him and continued to hold onto the wall. "Oy, Makoto. Makoto!" Rin shouted in his face. "Wake up!" He kept tugging and tugging, though he eventually began to pry Makoto's fingers away from the edge. Even if it did risk Makoto falling in, Rin had to loosen his grip to get him out of the water. When one of his hands completely lost their grip, Makoto suddenly gasped. Even then, Rin knew he wasn't there completely.

"Makoto, grab my hands," Rin ordered as he already stole the one that was released from the wall. "I'm going to pull you out."

Makoto was at least "there" enough that he responded. Instead of wrapping his fingers around the edge of the pool, he pressed his hand flat against it and gripped Rin's. As Rin stood up completely and yanked Makoto out of the pool, the brunet climbed—or rather, crawled, out onto the concrete. Rin looked down at him with wide eyes as Makoto stayed on his hands and knees, panting as if he almost drowned again.

_I'm not the person he needs, _Rin instantly thought. He was the one who inflicted all that pain the other day. He couldn't help Makoto as he came out of this state of…whatever the medic called it. He needed his best friend. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed the blue-eyed Haru, hoping that for once, he would actually pick up his phone.

No good. It went straight to voicemail. He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose as he waited for the tone to ring. "Oy, Haru!" he practically shouted into the phone. "You gotta get over here. Makoto's-"

A hand suddenly snatched the phone away from him and flipped it shut. Rin was so stunned that he simply turned to look at the culprit instead of fighting back. Makoto was on his feet, wide eyed and still panicked as he held onto Rin's phone.

"You can't tell Haru," he said solemnly, breathlessly.

"Makoto? You were just…" Rin shook his head, gritting his teeth as he fought back the urge to scold Makoto for his stupidity. "Of course Haru has to know. Everyone has to know! You were the same as you were at the beach, weren't you? That panic thing…"

Makoto refused to look him in the eye. "It's not important."

"Seriously?!" Rin shouted, his voice echoing throughout the large room and making Makoto jump out of his skin. "It's _extremely _important! You could have died in that pool! What were you doing here? What caused that to happen again? If you don't want to tell me because you're mad, that's fine, but you have to talk to somebody about it."

"I'm not mad at you," Makoto said quietly. Even though Rin was glad to hear those words, he didn't like hearing the defeated tone behind them. "I'm really okay. I just…got scared again."

Rin wasn't sure if it was wise to ask Makoto a million questions, but he had to at least try to get him talking. "When you were in elementary school, you were scared of all bodies of water. Don't tell me that…" He didn't want to say it. Didn't want it to be true.

"It's true," Makoto answered in the same volume as before. "I'm…afraid of the water. More than ever before."

Rin looked at Makoto in sorrow. He never saw the full extent of Makoto's fear growing up. He had begun to overcome his fear by the time that Rin transferred to his school. Even so, looking into Makoto's eyes now in the dim pool room, he could see the look of a childish fear. It was an irrational fear and they both knew it, but that didn't make the fear any less real. "You came here on your own to try and overcome that fear," Rin realized softly. "You didn't want anyone to know that you were scared again."

"Mm…"

"But seriously, Makoto, don't you realize just how dangerous that was? You were lucky you kept such a grip on the wall."

"I know, but…"

"But you don't want them to know you're scared," he repeated. "You didn't want them to see you like that. Is that really something worth risking your life over?" He gave him a look, one that dared him to say the stupid answer of, "yes, it's willing to risk my life for." Both of them knew that was the wrong answer.

"It's not, but…" Once more, Makoto trailed off. "…I have to be brave. Nobody else can make me get over this fear. I have to do this alone."

Rin shook his head. "But did you really do it alone last time? You had a reason other than just being brave…You overcame your fear because you wanted to swim with Haru again. Is he your motivation again?"

"Sort of," Makoto said with an unreadable expression.

He wasn't sure when to push and when to let up; Makoto was a much gentler person who required special care, even in his scoldings. But that answer wasn't satisfactory. "If you want me to keep this a secret from Haru, you have to tell me everything," he said bluntly. "Otherwise, I'll go straight to his house and tell him what happened here tonight."

The only reason that Rin spoke that way was because he cared; he didn't mean to scare Makoto further and blackmail him with a secret. It was just that if he didn't completely open up to someone, he could end up in this situation again. He could come to the pool, get in, and not have a good grip on the side…

Makoto lifted his gaze to Rin, his green eyes blank. "I'm not going to tell you everything," he said statically. "But you won't tell Haru any of this."

Rin blinked. "H-huh…?" He was so caught off guard by Makoto's even tone that he took a step back. Makoto didn't close the gap, but he never lost eye-contact with him. "This is my fight—me overcoming my anxieties is my business. I promise not to come back here alone again. That's good enough for you, isn't it, Rin?"

…_Well, it's a start… _Rin thought. But if Makoto—sweet, kind, never-talk-back-Makoto—was pushing him away and refusing to share everything, it must have been extremely serious. _Somebody still has to know. But…I don't think it's my place to tell them anything that serious anyway. _

While he was still trapped in thought, Makoto stepped away. He went into the dressing room, got changed, and left with Rin's silent permission and promise.

_Your secret's safe…for now. _


	7. Chapter 7: Bombshell

Chapter Seven: Bombshell

Four days into Makoto's week-long visit, Haru came into the bedroom to find Makoto packing his bags. "Makoto?" he questioned. _What are you doing? _

The brunet, who was kneeling next to his duffle-bag, jumped as if he was caught in the middle of a crime. "Sorry, Haru," he quickly apologized. "I can't stay here any more time. My family has their annual camping trip this weekend."

_Oh…That's right. _How could he have possibly forgotten? It was a tradition that the Tachibanas had for at least the past ten years. This year wouldn't be any exception—in fact, it was even more important to have this last camping trip as a family before Makoto left for college. And in previous years, the Tachibanas had invited him to come along with them. He generally refused, since it was a bother to camp. This year, they hadn't invited him, but again, that made sense. This would be a sacred and important time for their family.

"When are you leaving?" Haru asked as Makoto continued packing.

"In a few hours—I need to go home and do my laundry so that I have enough to wear."

"Is that really all your concerned about?" Haru challenged gently.

At that question, Makoto stopped packing and focused on the dolphin. "I'm okay," he said with a wider smile than usual. "Really, the past few days have helped. Thanks, Haru."

Haru stared at Makoto for a few moments, gauging whether to believe him or not. It was true that in the past few days, Makoto has behaved more like his usual self. He hung out with Nagisa and Rei and even called Rin and made amends with him. Maybe the pressure of not putting on a brave face for his family helped him recoup. Or maybe he felt more confident about the bullies never returning to hurt him. Either way, Haru believed him. "I'm glad."

Makoto smiled faintly at Haru's kind sentiment before he continued packing up. "When I'm gone, you can have all the mackerel you want. I noticed you only had it one meal a day while I was here."

Having been caught, Haru glanced off to the side. "Shut up," he murmured, though not in a mean way. It was that typical way of, _You saw through me again and I don't want to admit it. _Still, it was good to see Makoto so perceptive again. That first day they were out on the walk, Makoto hadn't even noticed when Haru checked his cell phone openly. Nothing like that happened since then, especially not with his cell phone. He hadn't had a need to check it, since Makoto had taken the initiative with making plans with Nagisa and Rei and talking to Rin.

Haru knew that Rei was easily worried about everyone, so he asked Makoto if he could call Nagisa and Rei over so that they could say goodbye before the trip. At first, he wasn't even sure Makoto would say yes. He had a strange look on his face—like he was going to say something and then changed his mind. A smile covered it quickly enough that Haru dismissed it. "Sure," he said. "I'd like to say bye to them too, even if it's just for a few days." He went back to his packing and Haru went on to make the phone calls. His cell phone apparently died because of how little it was used, so he had to borrow Makoto's phone to call Rei and Nagisa. He would have called Rin as well, but Rin was heading back to Samezuka today and obviously wouldn't be able to make it.

A few hours later, Makoto was packing his duffle bag into the back of his family's car.

"Are you sure you have to go, Mako-chan?" Nagisa whined lightheartedly from the side of the packed car. "I want to hang out with you more before the summer ends…"

"Sorry," Makoto smiled to the blond. "It's a family tradition. You remember how long we've done this, right?"

"But still….."

"Nagisa-kun, let him go," Rei smiled to Nagisa. "It's good to go out into nature. It's so _beautiful_!"

"Almost everything's beautiful to you, Rei-chan…"

"That's not true!" he protested. "My swimming that first week was…not beautiful." He blushed, as if being unbeautiful was the worth thing that ever happened to him. Makoto smiled warmly at the sight of his friends acting so normal. Even Haru was tempted to crack a smile, but he could tell that Makoto was still hiding something, even now.

As soon as Makoto opened the back seat of his car to sit down, Nagisa stomped the short distance between them and gave him a sudden hug. "Have a good trip, Mako-chan!" he said extremely cheerfully.

"Yes, have a good one!" Rei agreed.

Haru simply nodded his agreement.

"Thanks," Makoto smiled, giving Nagisa a pat on the head before he gently pushed him away. "I'll see you all in a week."

"Three days before school starts…That's not much time to hang out. When do you leave for Tokyo again?" Rei asked.

"Sunday," Haru filled in, finally speaking.

"HEH?!" Nagisa freaked out. "But that only gives us one day to hang out before you leave. MAKO-CHAAAAAAN."

Makoto sat down in the seat of his car, shutting the door but dangling an arm out the open window. His family was obviously ready to go and he was the only one holding them up. "We'll have plenty of time to hang out," he said with a weak smile. "I'm actually going to be around for a while. I withdrew my application from Tokyo." His father started the engine and started driving as soon as he was done talking. Three statues who were once humans stood completely still as the Tachibanas drove away and Makoto's secret lingered in the air.

*…*…*…*…*…*

It was late afternoon and Haru hadn't left his bedroom since he, Nagisa, and Rei came into his house two hours ago. None of them knew what to make of Makoto's secret. First of all, when had he officially withdrawn? His parents and siblings obviously knew about it, since he said it right in front of them. What reasons would Makoto give them to make his withdrawal okay?

"He will probably just get a part time job or something," Rei murmured. "But that doesn't make sense. Makoto-senpai is capable of so much more!"

"Agreed," Nagisa said seriously. "Haru-chan, are you sure that you don't know anything?"

What was he supposed to say? _Oh yeah, I have all the answers because Makoto has been living with me for the past few days. I know everything that's wrong with him? Yeah right… _As frustrated as he was with Makoto, he was more frustrated with himself. He thought that he was being more observant with Makoto—he thought that he saw his friend improving. But withdrawing his application from Tokyo definitely wasn't improving. "I don't know anything," he admitted quietly. After just one more moment of thought, his bright blue eyes widened. "No, that's not true…"

"Haru-chan?"

A few days ago—the day that he forced Makoto to stay over at his house, they went for their walk. He said a few times over that Makoto wouldn't have to worry about self defense or the bullies because he was going to Tokyo so soon. Haru thought that Makoto was just afraid of the attackers coming after him despite all that, but maybe it wasn't fear that kept him so quiet. "I think he might have done it four days ago, or at least, he was thinking about it."

"This was obviously triggered by the triathlon…" Rei reasoned. "He was so excited for Tokyo before that."

"So in other words, we need to figure out what changed," Nagisa filled in. "Haru-chan, are you sure that you don't-"

Haru stood up from his bed, angrily swatting a hand through the air. "I'm sure!" he snapped. _I know that I'm supposed to know because he literally lived with me and because we've been best friends for so long, but I don't have a clue what's going on! _It was so…frustrating. Enraging. Painful. Makoto knew him so well that he always knew exactly what Haru needed, but apparently it didn't work both ways. How well did he really know Makoto? Why couldn't he help him when it really mattered?

After a few moments, he realized that the room fell silent and the dark cloud of his pain stunned Nagisa and Rei. "Sorry," he said quietly, more composed.

"No, don't worry about it," Nagisa comforted. "We could always just go and ask Mako-chan."

"We can't interrupt his family's camping," Rei countered. "What if they're trying to convince him to go to Tokyo too? We aren't the only ones fighting for Makoto-senpai here."

"What if it is about the attack though? What if his parents don't know that's what's really bothering him and they can't really help him?"

"But is it really our place to tell them? It was obviously a very scarring situation for Makoto-senpai if he's acting this way."

"So what are you saying we should do? We should just—let him throw all of his potential away because he's upset?!" Nagisa cried loudly.

Just as Haru's pain silenced the room before, Nagisa's had the same affect. As the blond opened his mouth to apologize, Rei simply uttered his friend's name. "Nagisa-kun…"

"Sorry," he said then. "It's just that…this is so awful. I've never seen Mako-chan fall like this before. I don't…like it."

"Neither do we, Nagisa-kun…Believe me, I don't want to leave him alone in his suffering. I just wonder if he needs time to sort it out himself."

"There is no time," Haru finally said. "Tokyo is eight days away. Makoto needs to be on that plane and ready to go to university." The two of them were going to the same university in Tokyo, but they were in different programs. Even so, they were going to remain best friends and help each other. Rather, Makoto was going to help him. Haru didn't think about it, but he was going to depend on Makoto to keep him in line and keep him on track with the coursework he had to take. The thought of going to college without Makoto just felt…wrong. "We'll have to talk to him while he's on vacation. We'll go tomorrow after we prepare what to say."

"Good idea, Haruka-senpai."

For a while, they tried to figure out what to say, but in the end, all they had were more questions. What specifically triggered his withdrawal? When did it happen? Was it even possible for the university to accept him again? Nagisa had the idea to call the school and pretend to be a repentant Makoto, prepared and ready to go to college. They could get his reservation back in the system right away and then work on convincing Makoto to go. It seemed ludicrous and childish, but it seemed like their best plan.

While Nagisa and Rei began writing up a script, Haru reached for his cell phone. It had been charging since that morning, so it was ready to be used for the phone call. He turned it on, listened to the short tune, and then arrived at the home-screen. _"One Voicemail Message." _

_Makoto?_ he thought. Maybe he called to clear things up. No, the message was from 3 days ago, from Rin. He pressed a button and raised the phone to his ear to hear the message.

"_You have one new voicemail. Tuesday, 12:36 AM." _The voice changed into that of the loud redhead. "_Oy, Haru! You gotta get over here. Makoto's—" _Click. "_End of messages. To repeat this message, press…" _

Haru flipped the phone closed. That phone call came Tuesday around midnight—three days ago. Something was obviously wrong with Makoto then, and Rin knew about it. _He knew about him dropping out of Tokyo, didn't he? _he thought painfully. Or he knew what triggered all of this. Either way, Rin elected to keep it a secret instead of following up with another phone call or trying to contact the others.

"Haru-chan? What's wrong?"

Haru's body trembled in fury and betrayal. He almost completely ignored Nagisa and Rei as he stomped towards the front door. "I'm going to kill Rin," he declared. He stepped into his sneakers and slammed the door behind him before he started in his sprint. There was plenty to think about on the run there—plenty of situations and possibilities to ponder, but he didn't humor any of them. His anger distracted him too much to humor those thoughts, which was a blessing in disguise.

By the time he reached the Matsouka household, Haru was covered in sweat. Sprinting during a heat-wave was enough to explain all that, but he knew that he was still furious. He banged on the front door loudly and waited for Rin to step out.

Fortunately for him, it was Rin, not his parents, who opened the front door. "Haru?" he asked, obviously shocked by his disheveled appearance. "What's wrong?"

Haru wordlessly held up the cell phone that he clung to during his whole run. Rin glanced at it and frowned. "You finally decided to check your phone, huh?"

"Tell me," Haru panted. "What was that call about?"

Rin only looked down to his sneakers. _You've got to be kidding, _Haru thought. He stepped forward, getting into Rin's personal space as if to intimidate him. "Tell me," he repeated.

"I can't," Rin frowned deeply. "I made a deal with Makoto that I wouldn't tell anyone, especially not you."

"Makoto's not here now," Haru said, his breathing becoming more regular as he caught his breath. "You need to tell me what happened. You sounded…" _Frantic. Terrified. And all on Makoto's account. Why won't either of you tell me what's wrong! _

"I know how I sounded," Rin said in aggravation. "I want to tell you, but I made a promise. I can't back out on it."

Haru, uncharacteristically aggressive, reached forward and grabbed Rin by the front of his shirt. But that was all that he did. What, was he going to knock his lights out? That wouldn't change the fact that he made a promise. At the same time though, he couldn't help it. Beating the crap out of Rin was the only solution that he saw to this problem.

"Onii-chan, what's wrong?" Gou said as she suddenly appeared in the doorway behind him. As soon as she saw the situation, her eyes widened exponentially. "Haruka-senpai?! What are you doing?"

Haru helplessly glanced at Gou. As if he wanted to beat Rin up right in front of her.

Rin came to the rescue by explaining the situation. "It's alright, Gou," he said calmly. "Haru's just upset that I can't tell him something. I made a promise that I'm deeply regretting making…"

"Did he tell you, Gou?" Haru asked as he kept his tight grip on Rin's shirt.

"No," she shook her head. "But maybe we can piece things together. Tell me everything."

Haru glanced at Rin one last time, considering everything. He may have gotten a hold of Rin a minute ago, but if he let go of him now, there was no way he would get this hold again. _…It's not going to do any good to punch him, _he reminded himself bitterly. He released Rin and explained all that he knew to Gou: The self-defense training incident, him taking Makoto into his home, and then how apparently Rin called him frantically the first night of Makoto's stay with him. "And earlier today, Makoto told us that he un-enrolled from Tokyo."

At that, both Gou and Rin stared at Haru in complete and utter shock. "What?" Rin whispered.

"You…didn't know," Haru quickly realized.

"Of course not!" he scoffed. "You think I would have kept _that _from you?"

"Well whatever you are hiding, it's a pretty big deal. It probably connects to him dropping out of Tokyo."

Rin stared off to the side in contemplation. "Onii-chan, you should tell us what's going on," Gou said soothingly.

"I can't," he frowned. "If his issue is serious enough to make him drop out of university, then it's definitely not much place to tell.

"Where _is _Makoto-senpai right now?" Gou asked then. "Why don't you just ask him, Haruka-senpai?"

_He obviously wanted to keep this from me, _Haru thought. _He might not tell me even after I ask. _Instead, he said: "He's on an annual camping trip with his family."

Rin's eyes widened drastically. "They still do that trip? In the same place they did when we were growing up?"

"Of course," Haru said, though his suspicions were rising. "Why is that a problem?"

Rin knew the area that they went camping in. When they were all closer friends, they would go on camping expeditions in that area. The woods were harmless enough, but the area had wide rivers that had to be crossed. "That changes everything," he decided with furrowed eyebrows. Now it was more than just a matter of his heart being in turmoil; with Makoto's life on the line, he had no choice but to be candid. "Gou, go get my backpack."

"Huh?" she asked. "But today's the day you're going to-"

"Like I said, this changes everything," he frowned. While Gou hesitantly turned around to grab the bag, Rin met Haru's piercing blue eyes. "Makoto's in trouble. I'll explain on the way there."

*…*…*...*…*…*

**Author's Note: Oooo, drama! Stay tuned next week for more!**


	8. Chapter 8: Revealed

Chapter Eight: Revealed

"Onii-chan, you're missing out on all the fun!" Ren called from the river.

"It's alright," Makoto smiled faintly. "I'll watch from over here."

As Ren and Ran swam in the river and splashed one another, Makoto reveled in his good fortune. Within the past year, there had been bridges built that spanned across wide rivers such as these. There was no longer a need to wade across the water and hold their equipment over their heads, and no need to go in the water at all. His family still didn't know about his fear returning, and he was going to keep it that way. If his parents had known about his fear, they wouldn't have put him on lifeguard duty with his siblings, but it was fine. Ran and Ren were both good enough swimmers that nothing was going to happen.

Even though he knew that his siblings were both great swimmers and the water was practically still, he couldn't even get close to the edge of the water. He sat along the shore with his legs drawn up in front of him, as if that would protect him from the water. As long as he knew he wouldn't have to go in, he would be okay. His parents were far off to the side, picking berries from nearby bushes to add to their dinner. Ran and Ren were too distracted by their fun to notice either Makoto's unease or the fact that it was long past their regular dinnertime. In an hour, the sun would set.

"Onii-chan!" Ran shrieked suddenly.

Makoto looked away from the tree-line of the forest ahead, his eyes growing in size. Ran and Ren were further away from the shore, right in the middle of the river. Despite both of them looking fine, Ran's cry was anything but. "What?" he called, only slightly worried. "What's wrong?"

"Something's wrapped around Ren's foot!" she cried. "He's being dragged under!" She grabbed Ren from under his armpits, furiously kicking her feet under the water to keep him afloat, but Ren was still hardly above the surface. He was gasping for breath every time his mouth came above the water, his brown eyes wide and panicked as he too tried to escape whatever it was that held him down.

Just the sight of the struggle nearly sent Makoto into one of his vivid flashbacks. He was sure that he looked just like that when he was buried alive. His chest tightened, but he wasn't completely gone like he was in all his other panic attacks. He didn't have the luxury of completely giving in to his fear. "Ran! Swim down and untangle him!" he cried in selfish and fearful panic. _I can't help you. I can't get in the water…_

"It's no good!" she cried. "I already tried and he's too wrapped up. We need you, onii-chan!"

Makoto stared at Ran and Ren in horror. Ran couldn't keep her brother afloat forever, and she couldn't untangle him. There was no way to avoid it. He had to at least try to save them; he had to risk the panic taking over again or he would watch his brother drown! Once he made that decision, he shakily took off his sandals and lifted a hand to the back of his shirt. He yanked it off and jogged into the cool water. First it licked at his ankles, then at his shins, and then at his knees. With each step that he took, he could feel the water trying to drag him in—to try and drag him into the not so deep depths but still kill him.

He momentarily froze. That was the moment when he noticed another shirtless figure jump into the water and sprint towards the struggling twins. At first, he thought that it was his father, but that didn't make sense on so many different levels. If his father was over, he and his mother both would have been yelling and panicking. Besides, this figure was too toned and too red-headed to be his father. Even from behind, he could tell who the figure was before he dove completely under the water. "…Rin?"

While so many questions lingered, Makoto snapped out of his daze. He was still up to his knees in the water, and Ren and Ran were still struggling. Even with Rin's help, there could still be trouble. When Makoto lifted one foot to step forward, a hand grasped his shoulder and pulled him back. He briefly yelped, panicked at the thought of falling onto his bottom, the water going above his head and suffocating him. But he quickly regained his footing and realized he looked like a complete fool for panicking. Rin, Ran, and Ren weren't paying attention to it as Rin swam under the surface to untangle Ren, but the person who grabbed his shoulder certainly heard it.

Hesitantly, Makoto looked over his shoulder to see just who stopped him. His heart dropped down to his stomach as he met the familiar blue eyes of Haru. He opened his mouth to say his friend's name, but only a breath came out. He mentally wanted to tell him that he was okay—he wanted to make sure he knew that this fear of the water didn't exist and that he was simply surprised by a hand appearing on his shoulder.

But one look from Haru let him know that any excuses and lies would be discarded. _I know, _Haru's gaze said. For the first time in forever, Makoto couldn't read anything more than those two words. Haru was a stranger as he stood behind him and stared at him in silence. What was he thinking? Was he angry? Disappointed? He wanted to ask, but all he could do was stare at him.

By that time, Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana arrived at the scene. Mrs. Tachibana was panicking and crying as Rin carried Ren out of the water with a bleeding ankle. Ran tiredly swam to shore after them, having used up all her strength to keep her brother afloat. Mr. Tachibana was calmer as he dug a medicine kit out of their bags and prepared to treat Ren.

Ren, trooper that he was, sat down on the dirt shore and jabbered away about how Rin and Ran were his heroes. Makoto felt like he was stabbed in the heart. As his family focused on Ren, he walked a short distance to the tree-line. He faced one of the trees and leaned his forehead against it, his eyes shut as tears threatened to leak out. He should have been able to save Ren. His fear was totally illogical! He knew for a fact that he could swim in that water and survive, just as he knew that Ren would have drowned if Rin hadn't saved him. He knew that Rin really was the hero of the day, and now Haru knew about his fear. His secret was out and his friendship was over, or so he thought.

"I think it was just logs that his ankle got caught in," Ran said as she hovered to the side.

"No," Rin said bitterly, shaking his head. "There were some frayed bungee cords down there that got him. Some camper must have thought it was a good idea to toss his trash in the river."

Mrs. Tachibana switched emotions quickly; first she was panicked, then worried, and now she was angry. "You would think people would have more common sense than that!" she cried shakily.

"Dear," Mr. Tachibana called gently. As his wife calmed down, he finished wrapping Ren's foot in bandages. "It doesn't matter," he said as he rose to his feet. "I'm just glad you boys were here. But…what _are _you doing here?"

Makoto, who had still had his forehead against the tree, turned around to look at Haru and Rin. However, they both refused to look at him. _Don't tell them, _he mentally pleaded. _Don't tell them you came because you found out the truth. They don't need to know yet…_

"Makoto invited us," Haru said simply.

Obviously the answer wasn't sufficient, so Rin smiled and picked up where he left off. "He invited us, but we were running late. We agreed to bike and meet you at the campsite, but then Haru and I got into a race."

"Everything's a race with you two!" Mr. Tachibana laughed. "Well, it paid off today. Thanks."

"No problem."

"Rei and Nagisa should be here soon," Haru said to the general population. Makoto fought the urge to shove his head into a tree. So the whole group knew now—great. He felt so pathetic…This stupid fear of his just couldn't stay hidden. And Haru and Rin couldn't keep the secret. For a brief moment, he was angry at them, but it was hard to hold onto the anger when he was so thinly stretched and tired. As the rest of his family returned their focus to Ren, Haru and Rin finally looked back at him and caught his eye. He wanted to be angry—wanted to yell at Rin for breaking his promise, but there were only two emotions he could feel lately: exhaustion and fear. There was no need to be afraid of his secret getting out now, so his eyes were dulled simply because of his tiredness.

The events of that evening tired everyone out, apparently. After Rei and Nagisa cheerfully arrived, they all set up camp and cooked dinner over a fire. All the Tachibanas but Makoto retreated into their tents and slept as soon as the sky was completely dark while the five swimmers silently sat around the campfire.

Even Nagisa was silent. Makoto couldn't help but recall when Nagisa and Rei tried to confront Haru and tell him they were worried about him. At the time, Haru could only brush them off and walk away. Were they staying silent now because they were afraid Makoto would do the same? He wanted to assure them that he wouldn't, but he couldn't make any promises. He hardly knew himself anymore.

"Sorry," he started then. "You're all probably mad that I didn't tell you the truth about…this."

"We're not mad, Makoto," Rin half-scolded and half-comforted. "We're just sad you didn't give us a chance to help you."

Nagisa and Rei hummed their enthusiastic agreements, but the fifth member of the party was unresponsive. He simply stared into the flickering flames without reacting to the conversation. "…Haru?" Makoto checked quietly.

"I'm not mad at you," he answered simply.

Something about the tone threw him off. Haru could have answered with a simple yes or a no, but that question was more like a "sort of." He was mad, but not at Makoto. Since he didn't know how to interpret that answer, he answered as if Haru was mad at him. "Sorry," he said softly, "for not telling you the truth."

"Why didn't you?" Haru asked quite suddenly.

"Why? Well…" There were so many different reasons, but now wasn't the time to give all of them. He needed to give the most important one—the most terrifying one to reveal. "I didn't want to lose you as a friend, Haru."

Haru was silent again after that, but not for the reasons Makoto feared. Makoto was afraid that Haru was going to tell him that he was right—that if he was afraid of the water, they couldn't be friends anymore. It was their mutual love of swimming that gave them a very important connection, and without it, Makoto feared they would drift apart.

It took a few agonizingly long moments, but Haru voiced his opposing view. "That's stupid," he said. He met Makoto's gaze and held it tightly. "So what if you're afraid of the water? You're still my friend."

Makoto nearly cried in relief, but he was still afraid that the response was too good to be true. "But the water's so important to you," he said softly. "And I can't stand it anymore. How can we be friends…?"

"Oy, Makoto," Rin input, shaking his head as he did so. "You've really gone off the deep end. You really think your friendship with Haru is so shallow that he'd suddenly hate you because of a completely rational fear? That's ridiculous."

The brunet's wide eyes moved to Rin in silence as he processed all that. "You think this fear is rational? You're wrong…" Now _that _was ridiculous. He was afraid of the smallest things with the water. Granted, he had started to get better in the past few days with not being afraid of the shower-water splashing in his face, but he still shouldn't have been afraid of everything else.

"He's right," Haru agreed. "Makoto. You have every right to be afraid of the water. What happened on that island…" He didn't bother finishing it; all of them got the picture. "…Before, you were afraid of the unknown in the water. Now you're afraid of suffocation. Both fears were reasonable and fair."

"And even if it's not rational by typical standards, it's still a fear that you have," Rei inserted. "That makes it rational enough for me."

"I never thought I would hear you say that logic doesn't matter, Rei-chan," Nagisa teased lightly.

"Logic does matter!" he protested. "But I've come to realize that matters of the head and heart can't always be explained…and that's…okay." Even as he spoke, he seemed to realize he was talking badly about his one true love: logic. But at the same time, he realized his own truth.

While Nagisa and Rei had their brief banter, Makoto wordlessly stared into the flickering fire. His best friends were telling him something that he never expected to hear: he was right to be afraid. He wasn't completely weak or pathetic for being afraid; he was _human_. All of his thoughts lately had been centered on how he had no right to be afraid, and so he became depressed, frustrated and devastated. Well, those thoughts were wrong and his friends were right. He _did _have a reason to be afraid.

"It's okay to be afraid," Haru continued. "Right now…we all are."

Makoto's eyes darted over to his friend. "Haru?"

"I'm afraid too," Rin agreed. "I'm afraid of what could happen if those two ever came back to hurt you again. That's why I was so passionate about teaching you self-defense."

"And I'm afraid that I can't help you, Mako-chan," Nagisa said quietly, suddenly serious. "With all the times that you've helped me, I want to return the favor, somehow."

"Same here," Rei added. "I want to help you and see you be free again."

_Free, huh? _Makoto looked up towards the sky. It was hard to see between the branches and leaves of the trees above, but he could see a few stars even then. The reason that he swam before was because Haru swam—he was the one who was obsessed with being free. But then, maybe everyone was obsessed with being free from something. Haru wanted to be free to do what he wanted. Rin wanted freedom from his doubts and insecurities so he could follow his dream. Nagisa's freedom was about not being forced into a life he didn't want. Even Rei was beginning to step out and become free of anything that held him back, like his limited swimming before.

_What am I supposed to break free from? _he thought. The answer came quickly enough: his fear. He wanted to be free of the crippling fear that paralyzed him lately. He overcame it before, so why couldn't he overcome it this time?

"Mako-chan?" Nagisa called in the midst of his thinking. Makoto snapped out of it, lowering his gaze to Nagisa. "What can we do to help you? Just tell us and we'll do it, because…it hurts to see you like this."

"Nagisa…" Makoto wasn't used to hearing sadness in his tone, nor was he used to seeing those earnest and devoted eyes resting upon him. When he looked around the circle, he realized that everyone had the same expression: Rin, Rei, Nagisa…Haru. All of them were looking at him with determination to help him.

"You already have helped," Makoto said softly to the whole group. "Really…Thanks." He smiled at all of them as moisture flooded his eyes. The anxiety in his heart was still there, but a new warmth surrounded him. The warmth of being surrounded by friends and love. It made him feel safe, even in the midst of the storm and the fear. The fear was something he would have to conquer, but just being encircled by the care his friends had for him was enough to make him feel hope for the first time in a long time.

Sometime, and maybe not anytime soon, he would get over his fear and swim again. It would be thanks to his own bravery and the support of his best friends.

*…*…*…*…*…*

**Authors Note: Missed Tuesday again…Sorry! The last week was an extremely busy one and I didn't have time to proofread this chapter. Hopefully the next update will come a week from today. **

**On a side note, writing this chapter was therapeutic to me. As somebody who's suffered with mental illness, I always found myself wishing that I had friends like Makoto has in this chapter who realize that whether a fear is "logical" or not, it is still a fear he has. Having Rei, the king of logic, give that line, is very intentional. I'm rambling and I know it, so…I guess I hope that this chapter (and this story as a whole) will help people with mental illness find some peace, like it has me. **

**That was a deep thought. I'm gonna just stop now. **

**Until next time, **

**Peanut**


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